If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms gets ass hurt. When you hear someone speak the absolute, real and raw truth, you should leave Like right now. This is Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life and everything in between. We get into the nitty gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what's on your plate to how you approach life's challenges. We'll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset and your entire freaking life. So if you're ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut up, because we're about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shut Up and Choose. Let's do this Now. Your host, jonathan.

Ressler. Hey everybody, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast that cuts the noise of the fad diets, quick fixes and unrealistic weight loss promises. I'm your host, jonathan Ressler. I'm here to share the brutally honest truth about the weight loss industry and how to achieve sustainable weight loss. After losing now over 140 pounds without any extreme diets, fads, pills, shots or any of that nonsense, I discovered the key to weight loss is making small, smart choices and embracing a sustainable lifestyle, a balanced lifestyle. So today's topic is all about finding your why. Why you want to lose the weight. Because, in the end, I believe that's the single most important thing that helps you along this journey and keeps you on track and really kind of motivates you to get it done. So I'll start with a question Say, do you really think that your journey to losing weight is going to be any different this time just because you set another number goal on the scale? I mean, I'm the king of, I was the king of setting number goals. Well, here's a little spoiler alert. It's not okay, it's not. That's not going to be what keeps you on track. And if you want to know why, it's? Because a number goal is like chasing a mirage in the desert. It looks exciting, you know it looks sexy, but it never quite satisfies you when you get there and it's really hard to maintain. I know I've chased that mirage my whole life. What you really need is a rock solid why? Yeah, you're true, you're real motivation, the core reason that gets you out of bed in the morning if it's cold or if it's dark, if it's rainy, and you know, do that exercise, walk and again, you know I'm not an exercise guy, but you know that thing that gets you out of bed or stops you from diving into that big tub of ice cream after a bad day. So I guess, in other words, it's what makes your weight loss journey sustainable and meaningful. So here's the brutal truth. You know I like to give the brutal truth and be sarcastic, but this is actually not sarcastic.

If you're fixated on the scale, you're setting yourself up for failure. Your numbers always fluctuate. Now I will say that I was fixated, I was obsessed with the scale, but I know that's not a good thing. If you're fixated on a number, you're going to fail. So there's so many different things that can change that number on the scale Water retention, muscle gain, hormone, I mean. There's so many factors that make that number go up and down. So even worse is if you're on this journey and you don't lose weight for a week because it doesn't show up on the scale, it becomes hard work, you know, and it's demoralizing. So if your only goal is tied to a number, you're going to lose steam very quickly.

But a powerful why that's different? It's not about those kind of numbers on the scale. It's about your life, your health, your happiness on the scale. It's about your life, your health, your happiness. When your motivation is rooted really in something deeper. Those little setbacks on the scale aren't going to knock you. Off course, I mean, your weight does fluctuate on a daily basis, but if your why is something bigger, not just to lose weight, you'll have the resilience to keep going, because your journey is about more than just weight. It's about living your best life and, honestly, right now I am living my best life.

So you know I've talked about the difference between real goals and smart goals. Real goals are my thing. That's right now, essential, attainable and livable. And if you want to find your real why, you need to get real about it. That means breaking it down into. You know, in my opinion, those four components Right now, the essential, the attainable and livable. That framework ensures that your why isn't just some fleeting thought, but instead it's you know, it's that powerful force that carries you through this entire weight loss journey. So you've heard my podcast about real goals, so I'm not going to spend a lot of time on it, but I just do want to touch on it real quickly, you know, for a minute or two. So the R in real is right now, it's got.

Your why has to be based on something that you need to do right now. If you're, if you say I'm going to start a diet next week or after the weekend, it's not right now. It's not something you're going to do a year from now. It's right now. It's something that you're going to start immediately, like as soon as you stop listening to this podcast. You're going to start Because if your why is based on something that you want to do in the future and I'm not saying the goal is because the goal is in the future it's going to take some time. But if it's not something you want to do right this second, you're not going to find your you know, whatever that correct why is the E is for essential it's got to be. It's essential to your life. You cannot live without doing this thing, and that may be literal In my case it was literal, literally if I didn't lose weight, I was going to die.

So when your why is essential, it becomes a non-negotiable part of your daily routine and your mindset, and this is a mental game. I know it's about calories in and calories out, but at the end of the day, this is a mental game. So think about things that are just crucial to your well-being and happiness. And if it's having energy to keep up with the kids, it's avoiding the health issues that run in your family or avoiding the health issues that you cause yourself. I mean, maybe it's just about feeling confident in your own skin, but whatever it is, I mean maybe it's just about feeling confident in your own skin, but whatever it is, it needs to be something that is unbelievably important to you and A attainable.

It has to be attainable, right? I mean, like I never my goal was never to have ripped abs, I know, is that attainable? Yes, anything is attainable, but that wasn't my goal. It wasn't to be. You know, have a size 32 waist? That's not. Yes, again, it is attainable, but it's not. It wasn't crucial to me, you know, it wasn't the E, it wasn't essential. What I wanted to be was healthier. So the A in all, that was something that I could do. You know, something that, look again, it was essential to me to actually live. And then the L, which you all know is livable the Y has to be livable, right, it's got to be something that you can do, that you can live with, and it should fit into your life, not the other way around. Your life shouldn't be ruled by this, but it's something that can fit into your daily life and something that you can maintain for the long run.

I am on this program, this method of eating, this shut up and choose method of eating, where I eat whatever I want and it's so livable that it's not work at all. It's just something that I can do. So a livable why respects your lifestyle and your preferences and, honestly, your limitations. I mean, for me there was no gym. That was a limitation for me. I couldn't go to the gym, I couldn't go and I didn't want to go. So if this, you know, livable part, it's got to kind of allow you to make gradual and sustainable changes that you can stick with for the rest of your life. Every diet I've ever been on, I've said, oh, I can stick to this forever, but I never did because it was about cutting things out or whatever this.

My goal here was to be healthier and to give myself the freedom to eat whatever I wanted, and that's the key to making your weight loss journey a true lifestyle change rather than just some temporary fix. So, having said that, like I said, I think the why is the most important part of this. So let's talk about figuring out what your why is Okay. So if we dig into this the meat and potatoes of this thing or maybe we should say quinoa and kale but figuring out your true why isn't as simple as saying I want to look good in a bikini or I want to fit into my high school jean. Those are bullshit, surface level whys. We need to go deeper. Your true why is something that resonates with you on an emotional level. It's something that, when you think about it, it stirs a fire in your belly and it gives you goosebumps. So this is my five-step process to figuring out what your why really is.

Number one is to really reflect on your values, right? So go, grab a pen and paper, open up your notes app whatever it is, you know, whatever it is that you take notes in and really start to think about it. What do you value most in your life? I mean, is it your family? Is it health, confidence, longevity those are the things that make your life meaningful. When you align that why with your core values, it's going to be so much more powerful. For me, it was about being around for my kids and again being alive. So, for example, if you value family, your why could be wanting to have energy to play with your kids or to be around to see your grandkids grow up, and that was one for me I wanted to see my grandchildren grow up. And if you value health, it could be about avoiding the diseases that may run in your family or the diseases that you cause yourself. I mean, I caused myself a ton of diseases and I wanted to. You know a ton of ailments and I wanted to get rid of those. So that was very helpful when I was figuring out my why.

The second thing is you have to visualize, I guess, your ideal self. So imagine what your ideal you is like, not just what you look like, but how you feel and how you move and how you interact with other people. You know, I knew that I wanted to be thinner, but, more importantly, I knew that I wanted to be able to walk around and feel good. When I was trying to do something, I was so fat that I literally taking 10 steps was hard work, you know. So I wanted to be able to move. So, if you, I wanted to be energetic and confident and free, honestly, from the aches and pains that were holding me back. That may be you. So I pictured myself doing all those things that I love without limitations. I had to cut a lot of things out of my life that I can no longer do because I was so fat. So think about yourself doing those things. I mean. Visualization is not just a daydream. It really is a powerful tool that can help you connect with your deeper motivations. Write down you know what you see and feel when you're visualizing that that vision is a big part of your why.

The next step is identify your pain points, and this may hurt a little bit. It certainly hurt me, but it's necessary. Think about the current pain points in your lifestyle. What are the things that frustrate you about your health and your body right now? Is it a lack of energy? Is it the way your knees hurt when you climb stairs? I mean I know it was for me if I could even climb the stairs. Is it the self-consciousness that stops you from enjoying social events? I told you many times it was for me. I was so massive that I was self-conscious when I went out in public. I would avoid social things at all costs.

And the reality is pain can be a really powerful motivator, right when you're clear about what you want to move away from. It gives you a strong reason to make those changes. So your why a lot of times lies in that desire to move away from the pain point and towards a better version of yourself. I mean I discussed this in a previous podcast Freud's pleasure-pain principle. I mean we do things in our life for really two basic reasons. When you break it down to the most core reasons, we do think number one is to gain pleasure and number two is avoid pain. So think about the things that you know really pain you and write them down, because you may actually go back and look at them after you reach, while you're on your journey, and say, wow, it's amazing, I'm actually doing this.

The next part is, obviously you have to set a real goal. So, now that you have your values and your vision, your pain points, let's set some goals. So not just any goals, but really meaningful ones. Instead of saying I'm going to lose 20 pounds or 30 pounds or 50 pounds, try goals like I want to be able to run a 5k without stopping. By the way, that's a goal of mine. I have not accomplished that goal, but it's something that I would like to do. Or something even more basic I want to wake up feeling energized. Every day I used to wake up and feel like shit in the morning, like I couldn't believe I had to get up and face another day. So goals like that are tied to the quality of your life, not just the number on the scale. You know they're more motivating because they have real and tangible benefits. And guess what? When you achieve those goals, the weight loss feels just like a natural byproduct. It doesn't feel like work, it feels like a byproduct of what you're doing.

And the last thing is you have to constantly revisit and refine your why. Your why is not going to be set in stone. My why has definitely changed. Life changes, your circumstances evolve, you know, and so do your motivations. So if you're constantly revisiting your why, it ensures that it stays relevant and powerful. If you find yourself losing motivation, it might be time to dig a little deeper and adjust that why. So take a few minutes every month, every few months, whatever, to reflect on your progress and reassess your motivations and make any necessary adjustment, any necessary adjustments, because that keeps your wife fresh and in line with your current life situation.

My why, originally, initially, my initial why, was to be alive. Well, I accomplished that why and then I revised it a little bit more to be healthier every day. I wanted to get up every day and just feel a little bit better, and that why kept me motivated. And I'm always looking at my why and always finding new reasons to, you know, make my why to refine my why and make it a better why. So if we just talk for two seconds or another minute about the R and the L, the in real, the right now aspect of your why is absolutely critical because it creates a sense of urgency and a sense of relevance.

So when you focus on what you can change or impact immediately, you're more likely to take action. If you think about what you can do today or this week, you know. Again, I would say do it right now. Those things will keep you motivated. So, for example, if you're wise to have more energy to play with your kids, or think about what small steps you can take right now to start feeling more energetic Maybe as simple as drinking more water or getting more sleep or going for a short walk those immediate actions can lead to quick wins and that will boost your motivation and keep you engaged on your journey. And the beauty of focusing on the right now is that it makes your journey less overwhelming, instead of getting bogged down by these long-term goals.

I want to weigh 300 pounds, or 200 pounds or 150, whatever your number is. That seems so distant and unattainable. You're breaking it down into these small, manageable pieces. If my goal was to just live, every day I woke up I was like, wow, hey, I'm alive and I'm feeling better and I'm lighter and I. It's just about creating a series of small victories that build momentum and keep you moving forward.

And then, on the L side, about making it livable. You know, livability is about making sure that your why is something you can sustain in the long term. A diet is unsustainable. Cutting carbs out of your life is unsustainable. Counting calories is unsustainable. Yes, you can do it and yes, you'll lose weight, but it's not livable for the long term. And that's where most people get tripped up. They do these traditional diets with these ambitious goals that require extreme measures like cutting out all the carbs or hitting the gym for two hours a day. Yeah, just crazy things. So sure you might be able to keep that up for a few weeks or even a few months, but eventually life happens. You get busy, you get tired, you get bored and suddenly those extreme measures, those things that you're doing, are not so sustainable.

So a livable why takes, you know, takes your lifestyle into account, your preferences and your limitations. Honestly, like I said, I couldn't exercise. Maybe that's an excuse, I don't know, but I was so fat I couldn't walk 100 feet. So it's about creating habits and routines that fit into your life and not disrupt your life, and that's a huge thing. It shouldn't be all about disrupting your life. It should be about fitting in.

If you hate running, don't set a goal to run every day. I mean, I hate the gym. That was never part of my goal. So find something that you enjoy. It could be dancing, it could be swimming, just walking. Whatever it is, the key is to make the change that you can stick with for the long run, the long haul. So when your why is livable, it becomes part of your everyday life. This style of eating is part of my everyday life. It's not something I'm forcing myself to do. It's something that I want to do because it makes me feel good, and when something feels good, you're much more likely to keep doing it. So look if you're still stuck.

Here's a few examples that might get your wheels turning. So remember your why should be deeply personal, but maybe these will help you spark some ideas. So one is you want to have the energy for your family, right. So right now I want the energy to keep up with my kids and set a healthy example for them. It's really important for me because I value family time and my goal is attainable because I can start with short daily walks, make small, smart choices and gradually increase my activity level. I mean, that certainly is what I did. I didn't walk for the first 12 months, or it didn't walk any extra, but slowly but surely, every day, I'm increasing my activity level. That's a livable why? Because you can integrate and I do integrate those walks into my daily routine and I make it fun Small smart choices. That's something I do without thinking. So another one might be to improve health, which, as you know, was my revised why so, right now, you want to avoid the health issues that both run in my family well, that's what I wanted and the health issues that I cause myself. It's essential to me because I value my health and I want to live a long life. So that goal to me is attainable because I can start making healthier choices, small smart choices and incorporating the right foods into my meals and I give my permission myself permission to eat what I want, but I'm going to make small smart choices. Then it's livable because I'm gradually putting that into my diet that I can maintain for the long term.

This one may be for you. I've always been a very confident guy, but maybe your why is? You want to boost your confidence right, right now. You want to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. It's essential because you value self-respect and personal confidence. Your goal is attainable because you can start by making small changes right. Make those small smart choices and those choices will help you. They're little wins, they're small wins every day and they make you feel good and they reinforce the fact that you're practicing positivity. And it's livable because they're small, daily choices and that will definitely build your confidence over time as you start to see those choices, you know, deliver results. To see those small smart choices stack up and really get you to where you want to be.

Another why and this is going to sound crazy, but another why might be to enhance your mental health, right, I mean, it could be driving you crazy. Your weight could be making you nuts. So, you know, you could say right now, I want to reduce my stress levels and improve my mood and my mental health by making small smart choices. I know if I'm thinner, I know if I'm lighter, I know if I'm in control of my weight. It's going to make me feel better. It's essential because you value your mental health, right? You want to get your head straight and this is a mental game. For sure. That goal is attainable because you can do it in these small smart choices, right? If you take one meal and make small smart choices, if that's the way you start, you're going to start to see results, and then that one meal of small, smart choices is going to turn into two and three and four, and you're going to build this thing into your life. So it's livable, obviously, because it fits easily into your daily life and it helps you start the day. If you do that with breakfast, it starts your day on a positive note.

Let me think another one. Okay, you might want to just break free from this freaking lifestyle of dieting Right now. I want to break free from the cycle of dieting and failure and finally find a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. Well, yes, yes, for everybody. It's essential to you because you value freedom and peace of mind. I guess my goal, your goal, is attainable because you can focus again on making those small, smart, healthy choices every day rather than following some strict diet, something that's unlivable, you know, something that you are destined to fail on. And, of course, it's livable. Like I just said, it's livable because it allows you to enjoy food and your life, to be honest, without these constant restrictions and all the stuff that comes along with fad diets and meal planning and cutting food groups out of your life. That's not livable, so it's got to be livable. I mean, to me the L is so important in all this.

So if you're serious about making real changes in your weight loss journey, it's time to stop obsessing over that stupid scale. Again, I'll tell you, I did. I honestly I did. I weighed myself a few times a day, but I'm a nut job. But it wasn't ever about the number on the scale, it was about how I was feeling. Yes, I looked at the scale to, I guess, reaffirm that I was feeling better. And, honestly, yes, the weight loss to me was a byproduct. It really was.

So you need to dig deep and find your real why really, why you want to lose the weight. Not pick a number. A number is a bullshit goal. A date is a bullshit goal. Pick out and decide why you want to lose the weight, because that motivation will keep you going when the going gets tough and there will be times when it's tough. But the great news is, if you go out and eat a dozen donuts or you go eat something that a regular diet coach or doctor would tell you is not good for you, you didn't fail. That was just a bad choice and you can go right back to making good, small, smart choices. So that's what I think is the most important part of the mental game.

As you know, I think dieting, losing weight, a weight loss journey is all about the mental game. Yes, of course it's about eating less calories than you burn, but it's all about mental, and I think that traditional diets and fad diets focus on the physical right. You need to learn how to do their method, their, their technique and that's what will get you through. But that's bullshit. That's treating the symptom, not the cause. That your motivation at that point is to reach that number goal. I'm going to get down to, you know, 220 pounds or 100. Whatever your goal is, that's gonna, that's where I'm going to get to and that's all you're focused on. You're not thinking about what else it does for you in your life and when you think about why you want to lose weight, why you want to take that weight off and what the benefit is you're going to get in every other aspect of your life. That's the motivation that you need. That's what's going to get you out of bed in the morning when you want to hit the snooze button. That's what's going to keep you from diving into that big tub of ice cream after a tough day. That's what, honestly, is going to make this time different.

That's why my method works, because this time it's going to be different, because you understand why you want to lose the weight, so at the end of the day it comes down to really shut up and choose to lose the weight. I mean, really it's all about choices. It's choices that you're going to make on a daily basis based on that why. You know what I want to live, so I'm not going to eat that bag of candy. You know what I want to be healthier, so I know that I'm better off eating grilled chicken than I am eating a hamburger. And again, I always say this it's not about that. You can never feed your soul. Again, you can. But then you have to go back to making the small smart choices and you'll see that when you make those small smart choices consistently number one, it becomes very easy. Number two, it becomes extremely gratifying. And number three, it's something that you can live with. It's something that you can do for the long term, and that is exactly why this time it's going to be different. So that's what I have to say about defining your why. I think your why is the most important part of your weight loss journey. I hope you actually take the time and figure out what your true why is. I hope you actually take the time and figure out what your true why is because when you do, I guarantee you weight loss will become easy. So that's the end of my thoughts on setting your why. Hopefully you will take the time to go do it.

As you know, my book is available on Amazon in both a print and ebook version. You can also get a copy of my Shut Up and Choose Lite version, which is called why You're Still a Fat Fuck, and that's available at learnshutupandchoosecom. So that's all for today. Thanks for tuning in. And if you do know people that need to lose some weight I know I'm harsh, I know I use profanity, I know all that I get all that, but sometimes you need just a good kick in the ass to get started. And if you know somebody that needs that kick in the ass, I'm here to be that kick for them. So let them know to tune in and let them know they better have some pretty thick skin, because I'm not going to tell them oh yes, you know, love your body. Big is beautiful. Again, maybe you think that I don't know. I don't, but one thing I know for sure is that big ain't healthy, so I'll sign off the way I always do. It's time to shut up and choose.

You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose. Jonathan's passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks no diets, no pills. And we'll let you in on a little secret no fucking gym. And guess what? You can do it too. We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did make sure to like, rate and review. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find jonathan on instagram at jonathan wrestler boca raton. Until next time, shut up and choose.