Speaker 1: 0:02

If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms gets ass hurt. When you hear someone speak the absolute, real and raw truth, you should leave Like right now. This is Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life and everything in between. We get into the nitty gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what's on your plate to how you approach life's challenges. We'll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset and your entire freaking life. So if you're ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut up, because we're about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shut Up and Choose. Let's do this Now. Your host, jonathan Ressler.

Speaker 2: 1:15

Hey everybody, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose. I'm Jonathan Ressler, your host, and, as you know, on this podcast I talk about all the bullshit that the diet industry and weight loss industry is spewing your way. I cut through all the noise and I like to deliver a no bullshit, no nonsense approach to weight loss. As you know, I've lost over 140 pounds, can't wait till I can say over 150 pounds, all while not doing any traditional or fad diets no shots, no pills and, for a lot of it, not even any exercise. I've changed that. Now I do exercise, but if you're so fat that you can't move or that you have a hard time moving, you can actually do this without exercising. Crazy as it sounds, I don't recommend it, but you can do it. So, anyway, today I want to talk about something that's really pissing me off and also something that I think is really, really dangerous for the general public, and that's the false comfort of fat culture and how it traps you in a cycle of poor choices. So I didn't realize this, but I guess August was fat acceptance month. I just happened to read that online and I was amazed by it, and I did a little research and I found, like all these fat acceptance groups. Fat acceptance groups, there's like a national association of fat acceptance and there's a fat com, I guess, which is like Comic Con, but where fat people go to meet up and feel good about themselves and say that, hey, you're beautiful just the way you are. And the truth is that's fucking bullshit. Okay, the idea of being fat and healthy is an oxymoron. It's like jumbo shrimp.

Speaker 2: 2:58

When I started looking around, I found out that fat culture is everywhere. It's sneaking into social media feeds, it's on TV shows and it's even like in just casual conversations. And basically what fat culture is is that soft, warm blanket of acceptance that tells you it's okay to make unhealthy choices because, hey, you're perfect just the way you are. And while I believe that self-love and body positivity are essential, there's definitely a dark side to that message, and fat culture often gives you a false sense of comfort that traps people in this cycle of making bad choices, unhealthy habits and, ultimately, self-sabotage. So today I want to break down why it happens and how it affects your mental and emotional health and, most importantly, how to break free from that shit and start making small, smart choices that genuinely support your well-being.

Speaker 2: 3:53

So fat culture is by far their loudest message is simple Love yourself no matter what. And on the surface I guess I agree with that. Sounds like a reasonable idea. Who doesn't want to feel good about themselves? But here's the problem.

Speaker 2: 4:08

When that message is wrapped in the guise of making and accepting unhealthy habits, it becomes a dangerous trap. Instead of motivating people to improve their health, it encourages you to be lazy and be complacent and accept poor lifestyle choices. And fat culture tells you that these restrictive diets and exercise are just part of a toxic wellness industry trying to make you feel bad about yourself. And I do agree that the wellness industry is toxic, and not toxic in that it's trying to make you feel bad about yourself, but toxic in that it's trying to take your money, try to separate you from your money. So instead the fat, what fat culture promotes is indulgence. It says, hey, eat what you want when you want, because life is too short. Well, I do agree that you should eat what you want and when you want. I think if you use the rule of four you can do that. But I mean, it's true that dieting extremes and body shaming are damaging, no question about it. Completely disregarding your health for the sake of short-term comfort is equally as harmful, probably more harmful. So, by prioritizing this immediate gratification over long-term health, fat culture gives you this false sense of safety, the appeal Definitely strong, because it feels like a rebellion right, refusing to let anybody tell you what to do with your body. Shit, I felt that way. You know it's my body, I'll do whatever the fuck I want. But that defiance comes at a cost and, as you know, I ended up in the hospital as a result of that defiance. So it traps you in this cycle of unhealthy eating, lack of physical activity and ultimately, I guess it's self-sabotage.

Speaker 2: 5:46

One of the most potent aspects of fat culture is its community. You'll find tons of social media groups and hashtags and all these influencers celebrating indulgence and being fat, promoting that anti-diet rhetoric which I do promote no, you shouldn't, you should never diet and calling out anyone who dares to suggest that putting your health first might be a good idea. While those communities do provide fat fucks with a sense of belonging, they also reinforce unhealthy behavior. And when you're surrounded by people that normalize those kind of bad choices, that unhealthy behavior, it's easy to lose sight of what's healthy and what's harmful. And those communities like push back against any suggestion of self-improvement as diet culture. They say it's toxic or it's oppressive.

Speaker 2: 6:36

And that narrative, that thinking, those thoughts keep people stuck as they become more invested in defending their choices rather than examining the impact those choices are having on their health. And another thing that fat culture kind of thrives on is this belief that change is impossible or, even worse, unnecessary. God knows, I fell into that. I thought there's no way I could possibly lose all that weight. And you know what? Fuck it. I'm fat but healthy. And then I ended up in the hospital and then I realized I was fat and unhealthy.

Speaker 2: 7:07

But that thinking sells the idea that trying to lose weight or improve your health is a waste of time because the world should just accept you as you are. And that mindset creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you can't change and you won't even try and God knows I was guilty of that I believed that there was no way I could lose the weight, so I'm not going to try. And then, of course, I'd go on a diet, lose weight, put it back on, but the result is that you stay stuck in the same habits that keep you from reaching your potential, that mental and emotional toll of feeling powerless over your choices can be devastating. It can lead you to anxiety, depression and probably even a deep-seated belief that you're not capable of more. It's easier to tell yourself that you're happy as you are rather than to confront the truth that you might want and the life that you deserve, which is better. So let's get real.

Speaker 2: 8:01

Staying stuck in a cycle of unhealthy habits is exhausting. The constant battle between wanting to feel good now and knowing you're not taking care of yourself takes a toll on your mental and emotional health, no matter how loudly these fat culture preachers preach this self-love. A lot of people still feel guilty about their unhealthy habits. I know I did. Yeah, I named my company Big Fat.

Speaker 2: 8:26

I was a fat culture evangelist, without really knowing it, but I still felt guilty when I went home at night. I didn't like being fat, I didn't like being out of control, and that guilt often comes from a deep understanding, which I had, that your choices aren't really serving your best interest. But instead of motivating a change, the guilt turns into the shame and a feeling that you're just not doing something right, but you're just you're wrong and shame can be paralyzing convinces that you're too far gone, too undisciplined, too flawed to ever make a change and so, as a result of that, you retreat further into the comfort of the familiar overeating skipping exercise, ignoring that little voice that says you can do better, you can be better. The cycle keeps on continuing and every poor choice reinforces the belief that you're not worth the effort of the change.

Speaker 2: 9:20

Another emotional toll of fat culture is the mental load of denial. You're constantly telling yourself that you're fine, you're healthy enough, that everyone's just too obsessed with weight. I know, I did that. Look, I'm fat but I'm healthy. I just can't get over that phrase. But deep down, there's an underlying anxiety that I had and it never really goes away. The knowledge that you're really not living your best life, pretending that your choices don't affect your health, is mentally exhausting. It's like having an alarm that constantly goes off in the back of your mind, reminding you that you're really not in line with your own desires. And over time, that denial wears you down and it makes it even harder to screw up the energy and courage that it takes to make better choices.

Speaker 2: 10:09

Another thing is emotional eating right. That's one of the most common side effects of staying stuck in this fat culture. Food becomes a coping mechanism, a way to numb the feelings of inadequacy, of shame or stress or whatever it is that you're feeling. But here's the kicker the more you eat to feel better, the worse you actually feel, and that's a vicious cycle that's hard to break because it feels good at the moment, right, I feel like shit, so I'm going to get something to eat. And food, as we learned last week, gives you that hit of dopamine, that little rush of comfort that tells you everything's okay. But the aftermath is fucking brutal. You feel full and bloated, you have low energy and a renewed sense of disappointment in yourself. I can't believe I did that. You work it out and then you do it again. So each time that you eat soothe your emotions, you reinforce that bad habit and you make it harder to choose a healthier path the next time. It makes it harder to make those small, smart choices. But in all that, I do have some good news you don't have to stay stuck. I didn't. You don't have to.

Speaker 2: 11:14

Breaking free from the false comfort of fat culture is not only possible, it's essential, and it all starts with making small, smart choices that prioritize your health and your well-being. And I guess here's how you can start to do that, the first thing is that you have to get honest with yourself and acknowledge the problem. The first step to breaking free is brutal honesty. Take a hard look at your habits and ask yourself if they're really serving you. Are you genuinely happy with your current lifestyle or are you using the acceptance narrative, the fat culture hey, everything's okay as a way to avoid change? And don't get me wrong, this is not about shaming yourself. It's about recognizing that you deserve better.

Speaker 2: 11:53

I wanted a better life. I knew I deserved better than not being able to walk 100 feet without being winded. I knew I deserved better than not being able to do things with my kids because I couldn't walk up and down steps and I couldn't walk to the places they wanted to go. I knew I deserved better. I acknowledged the ways that I was self-sabotaging and I decided that I was ready to do something about it. And you can do that too. The mindset shift is crucial and I always say that a weight loss journey is all about mindset. Of course it's about the food, the calories and all that bullshit, but it's about mindset. If you're in the right mindset, you can do this. It sets the stage for meaningful, lasting change. I bet you never heard anybody cough on their own podcast, but I don't edit this shit, so deal with it.

Speaker 2: 12:45

One of the biggest lies that fat culture tells all of us is that change is an all or nothing game. The diet industry does that too, but it's an all or nothing game, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the idea of completely overhauling your diet or starting some intense workout regimen. But guess what? You don't have to. You start with small, smart choices like swap soda for water, start drinking more water, add some vegetables in your meals, or something I learned after a year is go out for a 10-minute walk. Those tiny, small smart choices might not seem like much, but they add up and, more importantly, they help you to build the confidence that you can actually make healthier choices, that you can make more small, smart choices. So each one of those small smart choices is a win that reinforces the belief that you can actually change.

Speaker 2: 13:37

And another thing that fat culture does is it co-ops, the language of self-care, twisting it to mean indulgence without limits, but real self-care. The self-care that I talk about is about taking actions that really support your physical, emotional and mental health. It's not self-care to eat a whole pizza because you're feeling down. It's self-soothing at best and probably self-destructive at worst. Reframe your idea of self-care to include movement and eating the right foods, making small, smart choices and doing things that leave you feeling energized and empowered to make the change. It's not about deprivation. It's about what's choosing to do what's best for you in the long run.

Speaker 2: 14:36

Another thing with fat culture is like all these communities and associations and fucking groups are popping up, and if you're constantly surrounded by people who normalize unhealthy habits, well I gotta find a new fucking group. Find communities that prioritize health without judgment, whether it's an online group, a local fitness class or just a friend who's working on making better choices. Having that support can make the difference. So surround yourself with people who inspire you to do better, not the ones who pull you back into the cycle of self-sabotage. When you find that right community, that right person, they can offer encouragement and accountability and, honestly, the occasional kick in the ass when you need it.

Speaker 2: 15:05

You know when you're doing this, when you're breaking free from this fat culture, it's more about how you feel, not just how you look. Right it's. It isn't about fitting into a smaller size or achieving a perfect body. I'll never have what the world considers a perfect body, nor do I give a shit. It's about feeling good in your own skin, having the energy to do the things you love, the mental clarity to tackle your day and the emotional resilience to handle whatever life throws at you. Life I don't care if you're an adult life throws shit at you. Your shit may not be bad as someone else's, or it might be worse than other people's. Either way, life is going to throw shit at you.

Speaker 2: 15:43

So pay attention to how those small smart choices make you feel when you think about it. Does that extra serving of dessert make you feel good or does it leave you feeling like shit and regretful? Does skipping that workout really feel like self-care or are you just letting yourself off the hook? So use those feelings as a guide to making healthier choices that truly serve you. And finally, remember that change is a journey, not a destination. You're not going to flip a switch and suddenly have it all figured out, and that's okay. Celebrate every bit of progress, no matter how small it is.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Remember I always say the small smart choices are wins and they add up like compounded interest in a bank account. Did you drink more water today. Great. Did you go for a walk instead of scrolling through Instagram? Fantastic. Every small smart choice that you make is a step toward breaking the cycle of self-sabotage. And as those choices accumulate, like the interest in the bank account, you'll start to see the difference, not just on the scale, but in your mood, your energy and really your overall sense of well-being and how you approach the world.

Speaker 2: 16:53

So, with all that being said, I want to set the record straight that choosing to prioritize your health doesn't mean you're rejecting self-love. In fact, making those small smart choices is the ultimate act of self-love. My method isn't about harsh diets or endless workouts or trying to fit into someone else's idea of perfection. It's about making small smart choices that honor both your body and your mind, without sacrificing your happiness or your sanity. Fat culture has twisted the self-love thing into an excuse for unhealthy behaviors, but real self-love is about respecting yourself enough to make small smart choices that improve the quality of your life. My method of eating helps you reclaim self-love by focusing on what really serves you. It's not about hating where you are now, but it's about loving yourself enough to want better, to know that you deserve better, to do better, to be better. So by embracing those small, smart choices, you empower yourself to take control of your health without feeling overwhelmed. It's not going to happen overnight. It's not about turning your back on positivity. It's about redefining what positivity means. It means taking care of yourself even when it's hard, and knowing that you deserve to feel your best.

Speaker 2: 18:11

The beauty of my method of live life love food, lose weight or my shut up and choose method, is it's simplicity. You don't need to overhaul your life in one night, in one day. You just need to start making more small, smart choices, one step at a time. Maybe today that means choosing a salad instead of french fries or drinking more water. Tomorrow might mean taking the stairs instead of the elevator. The choices might seem insignificant when you first start out, but together they really build momentum and, unlike the extreme measures that fad diets and diet culture pushes, my approach is sustainable. You're not setting yourself up for failure with unrealistic expectations. Instead, you're setting yourself up for success by creating habits that are easy to maintain and gradually improve your health over time. Each time you make a small, smart choice that supports your well-being, you reinforce that self-belief that you are worth the effort.

Speaker 2: 19:10

So, as you know, one of the key principles of the way I eat is mindful eating. It's learning to listen to your body's hunger cues and understanding your emotional triggers and making food choices that nourish you rather than making you numb. So fat culture often disconnects you from those signals by promoting indulgence without boundaries, and that's insane. But I was there, I get it. I'm going to eat whatever the fuck I want, whatever I want. But mindful eating brings you back to the present. It helps you to make conscious decisions that align with your health goals, that align with your why?

Speaker 2: 19:42

Mindful eating doesn't mean you can't enjoy your favorite foods, and we talked about that. I talk about that all the time. You can eat all your favorite foods, but it means eating them in a way that doesn't compromise your health. Yeah, it's about savoring every bite, appreciating the flavors and stopping when you're satisfied, not stuffed. And if you haven't listened to my episode about the rule of four, you need to, because this approach allows you to maintain a healthy relationship with food, or build a healthy relationship with food that maybe you've never had I never did Without falling into the trap of restriction, extreme measures or excess. Another thing again, and I always say you can lose weight without exercising. But exercising is good and I've been doing it for the last three, four months, maybe even five months.

Speaker 2: 20:32

Exercise for me and for a lot of people, is often framed as punishment, something you do because you have to in order to lose weight or to fix yourself. We all know that there is no way to out exercise a bad diet and, with my method of eating moving around, sure, it's focused on eating the right things in the right amounts, but the whole idea of moving and exercise is reframed as a celebration of what your body can actually do. It's about finding physical activities that you enjoy, whether it's dancing or hiking, yoga, I don't know whatever swimming or just taking a walk around the neighborhood. You know that's what I do. I found walking and I love it, and I'm always amazed at how, each day and each week, I can walk a little bit further when I literally couldn't walk 100 yards. So I'm not really exercising to burn off calories or fit into a smaller size. I'm moving because it makes me feel good and that mindset shift takes the pressure off and turns a physical activity into something that you really look for. I know I look forward to my walk, not something you dread I would fucking dread going to the gym. I hate the gym. Did I mention that before? Yeah, I did. It's a reminder that you're taking steps to care for yourself in a way that's both enjoyable and sustainable. I can walk every single day. I don't have to go to the gym. I don't have to go to the gym, I don't have to do anything. Just that little bit of movement is moving me toward my goal.

Speaker 2: 21:58

One of the most liberating aspects of my method of the shut up and choose or the live life, love food, lose weight method is the permission that it gives you to be imperfect. Fat culture pushes an all or nothing mentality. Like I've said, you're either embracing every unhealthy habit in the name of self-acceptance or you're punishing yourself with strict diets. But real change happens in that ugly spot, that messy middle, where mistakes are part of the process and, truthfully, if you're thinking about what you're eating and you're using the rule of four, they're not even really mistakes. Sometimes you just have to feed your soul. So by focusing on that progress rather than perfection, you're freeing yourself from the guilt and shame that often comes with trying to make healthier choices. Right, you can eat whatever you want. You just have to think about how you eat those things. You don't have to get it right every time. You're going to make mistakes. There's no question about you're going to eat too much. You're not going to use the rule of four, whatever it is. You're going to make mistakes, but you just have to keep moving forward. Every small smart choice is a victory and every misstep is a chance to learn, but it's not a reason to give up because you can jump right back in and make your next choice a small smart choice. A small smart choice, and I think that my slogan of live life, love food, lose weight perfectly captures the essence of my shut up and choose the way I did stuff.

Speaker 2: 23:18

Loving food doesn't mean that you mindlessly chow down on what's ever in front of you. It means choosing foods that make you feel good, both physically and emotionally. It's definitely about eating new things. I'm eating a lot of foods that I never ate before and enjoying the meals without guilt and appreciating the role that food plays in your life. Fat culture really positions food as either a friend or an enemy. That good and bad, that shit that I hate. But my method encourages a balanced relationship with food. You can love food without letting it control you. Food is not the enemy. You can enjoy a burger and fries one day and a fresh, colorful salad tomorrow. Both choices can coexist, without shame or judgment or feeling like you failed. It's just one simple choice. It's about breaking free from the extremes and finding a middle ground that actually feels right for you, because every small smart choice is a victory and it's worth celebrating.

Speaker 2: 24:19

Whether, like I said, you're picking water over soda or getting in a quick walk or just not having a snack that you didn't really want but you just were eating because it was there, each decision builds your confidence and strengthens your commitment to your health. Those wins add up, creating a positive feedback loop that motivates you to keep going. So celebrating that progress isn't just about acknowledging the big milestones, like losing weight. You know how I feel about losing weight. I believe it's a byproduct of making small smart choices or even hitting a fitness goal. I wanted to be able to walk and now I can walk five or six miles with ease, but it's about recognizing the everyday choices that contribute to your overall health and well-being. That simple mindset shift helps you stay focused on what you're doing right rather than getting bogged down by all the things that you still need to improve on. We'll never be perfect. You'll always make some bad choices Everybody does. Don't get bogged down in what you're doing wrong. Celebrate the things that you're doing right.

Speaker 2: 25:24

So in the end, fat culture may tell you that embracing your unhealthy habits is a form of self-love. But real self-love is about taking care of yourself in ways that support your long-term health and your happiness. If you follow my method, it offers you a way out of that unhealthy cycle of fat acceptance by empowering you to make these small, smart choices that really honor your body and your mind. You don't have to reject the idea of self-acceptance to prioritize your health. You can have both a deep, unwavering love for who you are and where you are, knowing that you're moving in a in the right direction and that you're making progress, and a commitment to becoming the best version of yourself at some point. So by making small, consistent, smart choices, you can break free from this false comfort that fat culture is shoving down your throat. Fat culture is fucking dangerous. It's counterproductive to what you're trying to do. I was a guy in the fat culture and I was an evangelist and I was saying, yeah, big fat, it's beautiful Bullshit. It's not and it causes anxiety.

Speaker 2: 26:40

If you live life, you love food and you lose weight by breaking free of that cycle of sabotage, it's not about choosing between self-love and health. It's about embracing both, one small, smart choice at a time. So, while this fat culture may offer comfort, it's a false comfort that keeps you trapped in a cycle of really bad choices and self-sabotage. You deserve better, I deserve better and I got better. You deserve better than a life defined by unhealthy habits and the mental and emotional toll that comes with them. But getting honest with yourself, making small, smart choices, you can break free from the cycle and start living a happier, healthier life. So, like I said before, live life, love food and lose weight by breaking the cycle of self-sabotage. You can do this. If you take that first step today, make some small, smart choices, you'll be shocked at how easy it is and how powerful you become when you take control of your choices. That's why I call the book shut up and choose. Shut your fucking mouth and choose to make better choices. It's that simple.

Speaker 2: 28:00

So there's the end of my rant on fat culture, which I think is I. It's just horrible. I don't even know what to say about it other than it's horrible. It's destructive and the people that are promoting it are really doing the world a disservice. I'm not saying that people should discriminate against you because you're fat or make decisions because they're. Because you're fat. They shouldn't judge you. I, I agree with that, but you, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2: 28:31

I will never believe that if you talk to a big fat person or a little fat person, but if you talk to a person who's fat that they're going to tell you they like being fat, if they tell you that they're full, to tell you they like being fat. If they tell you that they're full of shit, maybe they've accepted that they're fat and they're too fucking lazy to do something about it. But nobody likes to be, no one likes to be fat, because deep down they know fat is unhealthy and it's all about choosing to lose the weight. Losing weight is a choice. Losing weight is about making the choice to get healthy. That's it All right. So enough on that rant. I'm tired, I wore myself out. So anyway, if you bought my book, thank you, still killing it, still getting great reviews. If you didn't buy my book, I'm Still killing it, still getting great reviews. If you didn't buy my book, I'm not sure what you're waiting for, but it's time to take that first step.

Speaker 2: 29:31

Or just listen to my podcast. If you know people who need to lose weight, who need a kick in the ass, tell them to listen. As you know, it's free and I always say if you can get one or two things from each episode, or even one or two things from one episode, you're ahead of the game. That's a small win. If you listen to the rule four and you're using that, you're winning.

Speaker 2: 29:51

I think that's probably one of the most important things that I've ever put out there on the podcast airwaves. I like to podcast airwaves. So that's it for today. I hope that if you're in that fat culture, this really gave you like a little Cold water in the face, a little wake up call being fat Isn't healthy. You might think that you're healthy now, like I did For a long time, but one day you're gonna Fucking wake up, like I did in the hospital, and it's not gonna be easy at that point it wasn't, it was easy, but it you go through a lot of Shit on the road there. So if you don't want to be unhealthy and you want to break free, there's only one thing to do, and that is shut up and choose.

Speaker 1: 30:38

You've been listening to shut up and choose. Jonathan's passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks no diets, no pills. And we'll let you in on a little secret no fucking gym. And guess what? You can do it too. We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did, make sure to like, rate and review. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find Jonathan on Instagram at JonathanWrestler Boca Raton. Until next time, shut up and choose.