Speaker 1: 0:02

If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms gets ass hurt. When you hear someone speak the absolute, real and raw truth, you should leave Like right now. This is Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life and everything in between. We get into the nitty gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what's on your plate to how you approach life's challenges. We'll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset and your entire freaking life. So if you're ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut up, because we're about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shut Up and Choose. Let's do this Now. Your host.

Speaker 2: 1:13

Jonathan Ressler, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast where we cut through the noise and the nonsense and all that garbage the diet industry and all your friends are spewing at you. I'm your host, jonathan Ressler, and today we are one week before Christmas, one week until the start of the I'm gonna lose weight next year season, the start of I'm gonna party my ass off next week, and definitely on New Year's Day I'm joining the gym and I'm getting on a diet. And that is such a toxic, crazy way to think and I'm not saying I didn't think that way for years, because I surely did. As you know, I like to say I am the self-proclaimed king of failed diets. I estimate I've been on at least 100 diets in my life and I failed on every single one of them. Don't get me wrong. They all work, but in the end it didn't lead to sustainable weight loss. So today I want to set something straight If you failed on diet after diet, it's not because you're weak or you're lazy, or you're destined to fail, which is what I thought. Every time I felt like, oh man, I just can't do this. But no, it's not because you haven't found the perfect diet yet either it's because your mindset is the thing that's holding you back. And I have come to realize and believe and can actually prove that your mindset is the one thing that you have to get right before you'll have any kind of sustainable weight loss.

Speaker 2: 2:34

And I didn't understand that for years. I spent 58 years as a big fat motherfucker on every diet under the sun and losing weight, putting on weight, losing weight. Putting on weight it was crazy. On and losing weight, putting on weight, losing weight. Putting on weight it was crazy. And I thought losing weight was all about willpower, finding the right meal plan, the right diet, whatever, and following the latest trend. Every time a new trend came out, I was on it. New fad diet I was on it because I failed on the last one.

Speaker 2: 2:57

So what I didn't realize was that until I changed my mindset, until I really knew what I wanted to do, nothing was ever going to stick. Like I say, to do, nothing was ever going to stick. Like I say, diets, they all work, but they're not designed for long-term success. So until you get your head right, nothing's ever going to work. And the reason is your mindset controls everything your habits, your relationship with food, your ability to navigate setbacks and, ultimately, your success. So I always say diets work.

Speaker 2: 3:26

But let me tell you why diets don't work, or why they don't work long-term. Because a diet promises you a quick fix. Let's face it everybody we love that idea. The ads and all the stuff you read promises you this massive transformation like lose 20 pounds in 30 days. And that all sounds great.

Speaker 2: 3:42

But the problem is the diets actually focus on just the surface level stuff. They focus on what to eat and what to avoid. Paleo right Eat meat, fish, fowl cheese, but don't eat grains and carbs. That's ridiculous. Or they tell you how many calories you can consume. You know that.

Speaker 2: 4:00

I think calorie counting is a complete waste of time because we're wired, our DNA is pre-wired to let us know what we should and shouldn't eat. You know that eating eggs for breakfast is better than eating a bowl of Captain Crunch. You don't need to count your calories. But the real thing is the diets talk about how fast you can lose the weight. You can lose 20 pounds in 30 days or 100 pounds in 60. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2: 4:24

Everybody's body is different. Everybody's body is different. Everybody's body reacts differently. But what diets don't teach you is anything really. But what they don't teach you is how to deal with those emotional and physiological and environmental factors that drive your eating habits. Look, we're products of our society. If you're sitting in a room at home with absolutely no food to eat, I promise you won't eat because there's nothing to eat. But if you're sitting in a room, a big party, and there's a beautiful buffet and all this enticing food and sweets, you're probably going to eat some of it. So we're products of our environment.

Speaker 2: 4:57

But my mindset was really the thing that was holding me back, and I guess there's three or four big factors. The first one is I definitely fell into the all or nothing trap. I believe that success equaled perfection If I wasn't hitting every target, if I wasn't counting every calorie or skipping every dessert, never missing a workout, which I, of course, didn't do. But I did try the gym a few times and, yes, as you know, I still fucking hate it. But if I missed one of those things, one of those targets I was failing, one slip-up, like eating some pizza, would send me into a downward spiral. So I'd plan out my perfect week of eating perfectly and not eating any carbs and whatever it was, and then I would have something I would overindulge in a party. So instead of getting back on track to the next, I'd think well, and you've all thought this, well, I already ruined this week, so let me, I'll start it, I'll go over, do this again next week. I don't need to do this this week, you know what. So now I'm going to eat some cake. It's easy the all or nothing trap. It's easy to fall into it.

Speaker 2: 6:00

I also definitely use food as a coping mechanism, whether it was for stress or boredom or sadness, you name it, I ate my way through it. My mindset was stuck in a cycle where food wasn't just fuel, it was absolutely an emotional crutch. So, for example, if I had a hard day at work or something, I figure you know what, I'm just going to reward myself, maybe with a little ice cream or some cake, or I'll eat something bad. And you know I don't believe in good and bad foods, but in what people call traditionally bad. Like I might go out and eat like a 12-inch cheese steak loaded with all kinds of shit. My mindset was stuck in the cycle where food wasn't just fuel, it was a crutch. Had to get out of that. So for me, that emotional eating was about soothing my feelings.

Speaker 2: 6:42

I also suffer from, I guess, a fear of failure. Deep down, I believed that I couldn't succeed because I'd failed so many times before Every diet that I failed. I just reinforced that belief. My mindset was never like, hey, I'm learning and growing. It was, eh, I blew it. I always fail, so why even bother trying? So that an example of that was like if I would hit a plateau or something and a plateau happens to everyone, it happens to me now, even this new way of eating that I have, you're going to plateau, it's going to happen, but I take that as proof that I wasn't.

Speaker 2: 7:13

This diet wasn't working anymore. I'm just not cut out for weight loss. And instead of pushing through it and keep going, I'd quit and I'd say you know what, I'll start again next week. And then, of course, the last thing that I always did was chasing those quick fixes instead of long-term change. Right? So my mindset was all about instant gratification. I love instant gratification. I didn't want slow, steady progress. I wanted to lose 10 pounds yesterday. I wanted to wake up in the morning and go holy shit, I'm 10 pounds lighter. And that impatience led me to chase every fad diet, every detox cleanse, and none of which were sustainable. A perfect example of that is for me. I did the juice fast for, like I don't know, 90 days I didn't eat a piece of solid food. I was committed to that thing and I lost a lot of weight. But once it was over, I couldn't wait to eat the things that I'd cut out and, sure enough, in a few months I had put all the weight back on. So you can't be chasing the quick fixes. It's mindset.

Speaker 2: 8:12

The next thing is you got to shut out the noise from other people. You know if you've ever been on a diet trying to lose weight or whatever. You know how noisy the world gets Suddenly. Everybody, you know, has an opinion. My brother would always say to me are you sure you should be eating that? I have a buddy. I was on paleo. He said there's no way you'll ever convince me that eating bacon could be healthy. And maybe it can't, I don't know, but everybody has an opinion. Or they'll ask you, hey, have you ever tried this diet? Because they read about it, or they knew a friend that did it.

Speaker 2: 8:41

And then, of course, the people that I believe are the absolute most toxic are the people that tell you you don't need to lose weight, just love yourself. What a crock of shit. They're basically telling you yeah, you don't need to lose weight, die, because that's what happens. I was 411 pounds. I was literally on death's door. So if you think you don't need to lose weight, just love yourself. Let me tell you something you're setting yourself up for death. Okay, there's, there's, no other way that if, even if you feel great now and you're a hundred pounds overweight, I promise you there's shit brewing inside of you you don't even know about, sooner or later it's going to come out, and probably it'll be too late. On top of all that, you have the, the diet industry shouting you from every direction, promising these fast results. If you just buy their program or their pills or their magic shots or their meal replacement shakes, it's just a crap. It just doesn't work.

Speaker 2: 9:35

And the problem with listening to people is everyone has an agenda right. If you go on Instagram, there's a million people selling something People are pushing whatever it is they're trying to sell to you. They don't care about your health, they don't care about whether or not it works. They care about that. They make the sale.

Speaker 2: 9:52

And as far as the unsolicited advice, it's usually honestly unhelpful, and people mean well when they're telling the stuff, but their advice is usually based on something that worked for them or a friend of theirs but it might not work for you. Everybody is different. I mean, if someone told me that they lost weight eating salads every day and I think you probably would if you didn't load it with dressing and all kinds of shit that wouldn't work for me because I wouldn't want to eat. I don't want to eat a salad, only salad every day. It just doesn't work. So, or it doesn't work for me, I should say I want to eat a variety of foods.

Speaker 2: 10:27

So a lot of that advice is really unhelpful and it really, in the end, distracts you from your goals, because the more that you listen to other people and what worked for them and how they did it, it makes it harder to focus on your own journey. That's why you'll never hear me tell you to eat this or eat that. I don't think that any two people can eat the same thing and have the same results. The bottom line is it's your journey and you have to figure out what you like to eat and set some boundaries. So if someone's comments aren't helpful, tell them. So Just, you don't have to be rude. I mean my answer. When someone would tell me something. My answer is hey, let me tell you, go fuck yourself. But you might not be that brash. So you just say, hey, thanks, I got this. They'll shut up, they'll go the other way.

Speaker 2: 11:11

Or certainly, if you do accept advice, only take advice from people who've achieved what you're working toward and whose values and lifestyles like yours. I see all these people pushing get ripped. I'm never going to have a ripped body. I guess if I wanted to, I could, but that's just not who I am. It's 60 years old. I don't want to spend 10 hours in the gym. Yeah, I guess I could probably do whatever get the body of a I don't know ripped muscular body, but that's not what I'm. I want to be healthy, I want to live, and you should also, for this goes counter to me. Even having this podcast is. But you should unfollow diet culture, unfollow social media accounts that promote quick fixes or make you feel bad about yourself. And I know I always tell people you're fat because you choose to be fat. So that might make you feel bad about yourself, but that's the truth. It's all about the choices you made and the choices that you continue to make. I make. I'm not telling you that I don't make small, some small bad choices, because I do.

Speaker 2: 12:18

In this last week I've eaten a bunch of donuts. I was traveling and I was like, ah, fuck it, those are good and I ate them. But now I have to get back on track. And another really important piece is you have to understand why you need to lose the weight. You don't want to. You have to. Why do I need to lose weight?

Speaker 2: 12:36

For me it was easy right. For me it was I had to stay alive. I was literally going to die from eating so much food. I was 411 pounds. Nobody can sustain. Oh, I may. Maybe if you're nine feet tall, you could sustain that, but at 6'3" I could not. My body could not carry that weight and function properly. I was on eight different medications just to keep my body going.

Speaker 2: 12:59

So you have to get real with yourself and decide why it is that you want to lose the weight. And the question is not because I want to look good. No, that's bullshit. For years my reasons were all shallow hey, I want to fit into this pair of pants, or I want to do that I want to look good in a bathing suit or fit into a smaller size, and those goals got me started when I would lose some weight, but they never kept me going. When I finally succeeded, it wasn't because I wanted to look good. It was because I needed to improve my health, my energy and, honestly, the overall quality of my life. I was literally eating myself to death. So you have to figure out your why. I would tell you figure out what to stake if you don't change.

Speaker 2: 13:41

For me, like I said, it was death. I had high blood pressure, I don't know, somehow I wasn't diabetic, but I had every ailment you could have and it was causing me to miss out on every moment in my life. But I was fucking miserable. I didn't want to be miserable anymore. I wanted a better life and I absolutely took the time to picture what my life would look like when I succeed Not if, but when I succeed. I pictured myself doing all kinds of things, being able to go out and go to. Literally I couldn't walk 100 yards, I mean. I pictured myself being able to walk around the block. And guess what? Today I can walk five miles. I haven't been walking in the last week because I've been traveling. But you know what I got to get right back to it. In fact, I'm saying it now and I'm not feeling guilty about it. I just know what I need to do. And then I really thought about who else would benefit when I succeed. Right. Who else is going to reap the benefits? Sure, I'm going to be healthy and that's going to make me feel great, but you know, I want my family and my friends and my co-workers will all benefit when I'm happier and I'm healthier and I'm more present.

Speaker 2: 14:46

I was a burden to people. I look at pictures of myself and I don't know why people didn't, like I don't know, chain me up and say, hey, you got to fucking do something. Not that I would have done anything about it, but I could see where I was a burden my friends and my family. We couldn't do certain things because I couldn't walk or I didn't have the stamina to do it. It's crazy.

Speaker 2: 15:06

So figure out what your why is. And your why is not to lose 50 pounds? That's a bullshit. Why your why is not to lose weight for a wedding or something? That's a bullshit. Why your why has to be something that's meaningful, something that you absolutely cannot live if you don't do this thing. And I don't mean literally live, but your why should be about your friends and your Something that's really, really deep. Fitting into a suit or losing weight for a specific event, that's a bullshit why. It's never going to keep you motivated and as soon as you fail, then you go. Well, I'm not going to make it, so you're not going to stick to it.

Speaker 2: 15:45

So figure out what your why is. Really dig deep, think about your why. Then, when you have your why, think about it a little bit further and really dig a little bit deeper. And then, when you have your why, think about it a little bit further and really dig a little bit deeper. And then, when you think you really have it, dig a little deeper. And that's where you'll find your why. And once you know what your why is, it becomes a hell of a lot easier. But you have to keep that why at the top of your mind Every time you open your mouth to eat something you got to think is this in line with my why? Does this get me to where I want to go?

Speaker 2: 16:10

So the truth is, the weight loss journey that you're on that I was on, has never been about finding the perfect diet or following some rigid plan that you know you can't stay on for the rest of your life. It's about finding yourself. It's about recognizing that no meal plan, a detox or some trend can do the heavy lifting for you. Not possible Sustainable change begins and ends with your mindset. If anybody tells you anything else, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Until your mind is in the game, you can't win the game. You can't just follow a simple set of rules like, hey, if I just cut out all carbs, I'll lose weight and you will, but sooner or later you go back to eating carbs. It's all about the mindset, knowing what your why is.

Speaker 2: 16:59

I finally realized that and, honestly, everything shifted for me. I stopped looking at quick fixes. I didn't count calories, I didn't cut out carbs, I didn't tell myself I can't eat sweets. I just started focusing on my habits and my beliefs and the values that I believe would lead me to a healthier, happier life. And guess what? You know what it worked and I'm still following it. God coming up on two years later.

Speaker 2: 17:25

And let me tell you, this isn't just about the number on the scale. I don't really give a shit if I lose more weight or I gain a few pounds here and there. It's all about how I feel, and I feel great. I haven't felt this good in 30 years. So it's about breaking free from the mental chains that, honestly, have been holding you back for all these years. It's all that shit that you're hearing Now, when you figure out what your why is and you start to get to that why and, by the way, just so you know, my why right now is to get a little bit healthier every day, to be able to have the freedom to do the things that I want to do, to not let my weight constrain me from doing anything.

Speaker 2: 18:06

Literally, I couldn't sit on a wicker chair without fear of the fucking thing. I couldn't fly in a plane without getting a seat belt extender, those things. They're painful and you know what? If you don't have your why, you're going to experience all those things. You're not going to be able to get to the place that you want to be and stay there.

Speaker 2: 18:27

You might be able to lose some weight temporarily, like I did over a hundred times, and feel good for 15 minutes, but then you can go back to that shitty life that you were leading, eating junk and feeling like shit. So you have to figure out what the habits are and the beliefs and the values that will let you stay on this journey. Because I got to tell you journey might not even be the right word because it's not a journey, because there is no destination it's something that I know I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, because if I don't, if I'm not always keeping my why at the top of my mind, I'll go right back to eating that shit. So this is something I'm going to do for the rest of my life. So it can't be restrictive and it can't be something that oh, my God, I fucking hate eating.

Speaker 2: 19:11

It won't work, it won't last. I know for a fact I won't do it and I'm willing to bet that you won't either. So you have to figure out those habits and you have to think about the future. You, when I thought about what I would be like, that I could walk around, that I could go out, I remember there was a time when I wanted to go. I took my kids to an amusement park and I couldn't fit in the roller coaster. They couldn't put the bar down. You know, that was so fucking humiliating. I vowed that would never happen again. By the way, it didn't happen again, not because I lost the weight at that time I stayed fat for another 10 or 12 years. But it didn't happen again because I didn't go back to an amusement park. Now I could go. The seatbelt goes around me on an airplane without an ascender.

Speaker 2: 19:55

So picture what you want to be. I pictured what I wanted to be. And you know what? I pictured myself waking up, feeling energized and not sluggish. I could get out of bed and go do my day. I wasn't like, oh, I got to get up, I got to walk out to the car. I got to walk, walk out to the car. No, I pictured myself waking up feeling great.

Speaker 2: 20:13

I love the fact and you should picture this if you need to that your clothes fit comfortably and you're not dreading the mirror. I mastered not looking in the mirror. I mastered not seeing myself on any reflective surface. When I was finally faced with this horrible thing that I had to take a picture and send it to somebody, and I saw what I looked like in the picture, I was like, oh my God, I had no idea I looked like that. So imagine yourself feeling good, your clothes fitting, and you're not dreading that mirror. So picture yourself walking in the kitchen and eating without any guilt or anxiety about food, but with, like hey, I got this, I have control and I can eat what I want. I don't have to prepare, I don't have to spend hours preparing food you know to eat. So picture yourself eating those things. And imagine this one. This was a big one for me. I pictured myself showing up for my family and my friends and, most importantly, myself, with confidence and pride, like, hey, look at what I did. I got this, I'm in control of me, and I got to tell you that version of you is very possible, but it doesn't come from the next diet or weight loss trend. I did them all. I did every fad diet and every trend out there and, yeah, it worked in the short term, but it never was sustainable. I've never felt as good as I feel right now and I've never been able to really follow a diet plan forever. Diets work for the short term Basically comes from that sustainable weight loss and that feeling. It comes from choosing right. My book is called Shut Up and Choose Choosing every day to show up and do the work and by work I don't mean it's not hard work, but you have to remember, you have to keep that why right on the top of your mind and figure out if what you're eating, what you're doing, makes sense and is getting you towards your why.

Speaker 2: 22:06

And it really comes from being kind to yourself. I told you, I told you last week I didn't do a great job eating. I did probably a bad job eating, but I'm not beating myself up over it. I'm just getting right back on track and I know that the progress that I'm making takes time. I might put on a couple pounds, I'll lose a few pounds, that's okay. It's progress over time. It's not progress immediately, it's progress over time and learning from every setback, I learned, like I said last week, I ate like shit. Yeah, I did. That's fine, because I know I can get right back on the plan and there really is no plan, but I can get right back to putting my why first and foremost.

Speaker 2: 22:48

So you have to do this thing on your own terms. It can't be on someone else's terms. I keep telling you diet, that's not that. If you're on a fat diet, that's not on your terms, that's on someone else's terms. It's got to be on your time. It's not about impressing someone or chasing someone else's version of success on this journey. It's about you. It's about creating a life that you're proud of, one that's filled with energy and health and happiness and all good stuff, because you can do that. And when you feel like shit about yourself, it's hard to have any of those. So it's about proving to yourself that you're capable, you're resilient and you're worth every bit of effort that you put into this journey, because it's going to take some effort. It's not going to take hard work, but it's going to take effort.

Speaker 2: 23:34

So let that noise of diets and everybody else's opinion. I always say opinions are like assholes Everyone's got one and they all stink. That's the truth. The only opinion that matters is yours, because you're not going to be able to follow what someone else says and let all that quick fixes, all that other garbage, just fade into the background. You have to focus on what matters so your health, your mindset and your why. Look, you've tried everything else. Now it's time for you to try something that actually lasts. So this time, don't just shut up and choose a diet. Shut up and choose yourself, because you're worth it. You got this. Now you know how I feel about mindset. I'm actually going to delve a lot deeper into mindset over the next I don't know couple of podcasts. I might probably maybe not. Next week, I'll probably do some kind of Christmas and Hanukkah themed thing. I don't know what the hell it'll be, but you'll get to wake up on Christmas day and listen to me, which I know you guys are very excited for.

Speaker 2: 24:32

As usual, I remind you that my book Shut Up and Choose is available on Amazon, selling thousands of copies, which is very exciting for me, very gratifying. I get emails all the time about people that are experiencing incredible results where they never had results before. You don't take my word for it. Just go out there and read the reviews. The reviews are all five-star Actually, they're one or two four-star but what can you do? It can't be perfect. It's not about perfection, but I have tons of five-star reviews selling tons of books and I'm helping a lot of people, which is probably the most gratifying thing that I've ever done in my life. I also have a 23-video online course that you can can download, and it really dives deep into everything that I did on my journey, how I got there, some tips and tricks. Each video is about five minutes, so it's not long. You listen to the whole course in a couple hours and it will change your life.

Speaker 2: 25:26

Big, great holiday gift it's instant. So if you've been lacking in your holiday shopping, you could literally just download it and give someone access to it on Christmas morning before they wake up, or Hanukkah morning, or the seventh day or eighth day of Hanukkah, when you're out of gifts. Just go download my course and give it to somebody. I personally I believe that the gift of health is probably the best gift you can give anybody. And yes, am I selling? Sure, I guess I am, but the reality is I would have paid a million dollars to feel how I feel today. When people say I feel like a million bucks, it's like eh, truthfully, I feel like a million bucks. It's the best I've ever felt, or at least for the last 30 years. I can't remember when I felt better. So you have the ability to give that gift to somebody if you want to. So that's it for today. The journey is all about you. This is all about you. It's all about knowing your. Why. The only thing left to do now is shut up and choose.

Speaker 1: 26:24

You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose. Jonathan's passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks no diets, no pills. And we'll let you in on a little secret no fucking gym. And guess what? You can do it too. We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did, make sure to like, rate and review. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find Jonathan on Instagram at JonathanWrestlerBoccaRaton. Until next time, shut up and choose.