Speaker 1: 0:02

If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms gets ass hurt. When you hear someone speak the absolute, real and raw truth, you should leave Like right now. This is Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life and everything in between. We get into the nitty gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what's on your plate to how you approach life's challenges. We'll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset and your entire freaking life. So if you're ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut up, because we're about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shut Up and Choose. Let's do this Now. Your host, jonathan Ressler.

Speaker 2: 1:14

Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast where we cut the noise and the nonsense and all the bullshit out there in the diet industry and all that garbage and that fake shit that internet gurus and Instagram jerk-offs are throwing your way trying to tell you hey, do this and you'll lose weight, or do that. It's all a bunch of shit. So today we're going to go into that place where we don't coddle your excuses anymore and we call them out. You know those deep, dark, snack-filled corners of your soul where you whisper to yourself it's just one cookie, while you're holding the entire sleeve of Oreos like it's a life raft. That's right. Today's episode is called Eating your Feelings. Try feeling them instead Weird. Right, because, let's be real, you didn't accidentally eat half a pizza last night. Your feelings drove the bus and your stomach was just the hostage.

Speaker 2: 2:07

So today we're going to talk about emotional eating, that age-old habit of trying to fix your feelings with food. Feeling sad, ice cream, feeling stressed, chips, feeling bored hey, let's just open the fridge and stare at it like it holds all the answers to life's meaning. I can't tell you how many times I've stared at the empty fridge looking for something to eat. Or let me rephrase that I looked at the full fridge looking for something to eat and I couldn't find it, and the truth is it's not in there. Whatever you're looking for, it's not in there. And I'm not judging you because I'm guilty of it myself. Judging you because I'm guilty of it myself. We've all been there.

Speaker 2: 2:45

Emotional eating is one of the most common sneaky little saboteurs of progress on any weight loss journey. I'm guilty of it, for sure. But what makes it so dangerous isn't the actual food itself, it's the mindlessness of it. You know that I'm all about mindful eating, so it's the mindlessness of that emotional eating that I've had a rough day, so I deserve this bullshit that turns into like a 600-calorie snack and then you go into the oh my God, why did I do that? Shame spiral.

Speaker 2: 3:11

But here's the thing, right. Food is not therapy, food is fuel. You wouldn't pour vodka into your gas tank and expect your car to run although I know some people have tried it but why the hell are you stuffing Doritos in your mouth and expecting it to fix your loneliness, your stress or your boredom? I get it. Eating shitty food feels good. It gives that hit of dopamine, that little rush of ah, just when the world feels overwhelming. But that is temporary, we all know that. And when the snack is gone, the stress is still there. Only now it's got a side order of regret with it. But before you start with a hey, jonathan, I deserve a treat. Yeah, okay, maybe you do.

Speaker 2: 3:50

But let's not confuse treating yourself with self-sabotage. Eating your feelings doesn't make them go away, it just delays them. So you're not really solving anything, you're just numbing yourself with the calories. And again, I say this because I am guilty, guilty, guilty. I did that for years and occasionally I still do it now.

Speaker 2: 4:08

But in this episode we're going to get real about emotional eating. I'm going to walk you through how to spot it, what caused it. Most importantly, how to stop letting your emotions run your refrigerator. Because the truth is, you can't out-exercise emotional eating. You can't out-salad your way around shame. You just have to face it head on. So if you're ready for that, good, because it's time to stop soothing yourself with snacks and start dealing with your shit like a grown adult.

Speaker 2: 4:33

So let's start with what is emotional eating. Let's define the monster in the room. You know the elephant in the room. Emotional eating, what is it really? It's that thing where you eat a cookie because you had a bad day. Well, yes, that's true. Is it that moment when you polish on a bag of chips because your boss hit you with one more passive, aggressive, per my last email? Yeah, that's also it. But here's the truth about it.

Speaker 2: 4:56

Emotional eating is any time you eat for reasons other than physical hunger. That's it. That's emotional eating. Any time you eat for reasons other than actual physical hunger, that's it. That's emotional eating. Anytime you eat for reasons other than actual physical hunger, it's using food as comfort, distraction, reward, punishment, celebration, coping Basically everything except for fuel for your body. Emotional eating is when your heart is hurting, when your brain is fried, when your soul is screaming and, instead of dealing with the actual issue, you give your mouth a job to do because chewing is easier than feeling right. Again, I am guilty. I'm not judging you, I'm guilty. Now, let's not get it twisted.

Speaker 2: 5:36

Eating emotionally doesn't always look like sobbing into a pint of ice cream at midnight while watching some sad rom-com. If you're that kind of person, sometimes it's subtle. Sometimes it's you just reaching your first snack just because it's there and you're bored, or it's you eating more dinner because it's comforting, even though you're already full. I did that all the time. It can even happen when you're celebrating, because when you have to eat cake at a birthday party, because that's what you do, but that's again bullshit. Here's the wild part, though Emotionally eating isn't even about the food, it's about the escape. It's a temporary fix that lets you avoid something else, whether that's stress or sadness, or anger, anxiety, loneliness, who knows? And, honestly, in a lot of cases, even joy.

Speaker 2: 6:22

Some people eat when they're too happy too, because their brain has been trained to link food with feelings from childhood, and I don't get into this whole big, deep emotional dive. So if you're looking for a psychology lesson, I'm not going to give you that. But look, when you skin your knees as a kid, what happened? Your mother gave you a cookie or a treat. Right, you aced the test. Hey, let's go out for pizza.

Speaker 2: 6:45

Boom, the emotions become tied to food and that shit sticks in your head and you know what part sucks the most. Emotional eating works for like five minutes. That dopamine hit. It's real, it numbs you, just long enough not to deal with what's really going on. But then you get the crash, you get the guilt, you get the bloating, the why the fuck did I do that moment. You went just from just one bite to why is the bag empty? Now you have that original problem that you had, plus the regret, and they're all sitting in your lap.

Speaker 2: 7:14

So let's stop pretending this is about willpower. It's not. You're not weak, you're just stuck in a pattern, a pattern where food has become your therapist, your best friend, your numbing agent and your celebration ritual. And here's the mic drop moment. I didn't drop it, though, until you separate your emotions from reading no diet, no meal plan and no calorie tracker is going to save you. That's why so many people will quote unquote do everything right during the day and then crash and burn at night. It's not that they're hungry, it's that they're emotionally exhausted, and food is the quick fix.

Speaker 2: 7:47

So if you're wondering why the scale won't move or why you keep undoing your progress, this might be the root of it all, and I'm betting you that it is. So let me give you some signs. So you know you're doing it and probably lying to yourself about it. So now that we know what emotional eating is, it's time for a little game. I like to call yourself about it. So, now that we know what emotional eating is? It's time for a little game I like to call am I hungry or just avoiding my life? So here's the deal.

Speaker 2: 8:08

Emotional eating can be sneaky as hell. It doesn't always show up with a flashing neon that says you're eating your feelings. Most of the time, it whispers to you in a sweet, manipulative little voice and, what's the worst part, you believe it. So let's go through some of the what I consider the classic red flags that you're emotionally eating. Yes, this might sting a little. That's the whole point of this. Growth is uncomfortable, like your genes, if they're too fucking tight from eating too much. But anyway, the first red flag is the I'm not hungry, I just need a snack. You're not hungry, you're restless, you're bored. Maybe you're procrastinating, but instead of doing literally anything else, you're in the pantry, acting like a bag of pretzels is going to solve your crisis or whatever is going on. I hate to break it to you, but if your stomach's not growling, your energy's not dipping, you're not actually hungry, you're just emotionally fidgety. Big one for me. I ate all the time when I was full, it was just I was bored.

Speaker 2: 9:03

Red flag number two is I've been good all day, so I deserve this. I definitely have used that one, the classic moral justification. You've turned eating into a reward system, like your golden retriever who just did a trick. First of all, you're not good or bad based on what you eat. That's just a fact. You're not good or bad based on what you eat, but using food as a reward for being good all day. You're not good or bad based on what you eat, but using food as a reward for being good all day. That's not nutrition, it's emotional bargaining.

Speaker 2: 9:29

The third red flag is that you eat in secret, guilty. If you're hiding food, sneaking snacks or eating in the car so no one sees you, that's shame, and shame is a big red, fucking, blinking emotional flag. Food doesn't need to be eaten in the shadows unless you know deep down what you're doing isn't about hunger, it's about hiding your coping mechanism. So if you're eating alone or you're hiding food, you are eating emotionally. The next red flag is you eat past full and then you feel like shit. I am, or I was, so guilty of this one. I always said, hey, if one is good, two must be better. So let me guess, because I've been there. You were just going to have one bite and suddenly you're stuffed, you're uncomfortable, you're regretting your life choices. That's not hunger. That's you numbing out and disassociating while chewing. So hunger stops when you're full. Emotional eating keeps going until you've punished yourself enough to stop.

Speaker 2: 10:34

Next red flag is your cravings are very specific. If you're truly hungry, you'll eat a piece of chicken and be fine. If it has to be chips or chocolate or mac and cheese or pizza or burger. That's emotional eating's telltale signature. Emotional cravings are specific and urgent. They feel like needs. That's your brain chasing a dopamine hit, not your body asking for fuel. And look, we've all played the mental gymnastics game. It's just one bite. If you're a woman, I'm PMSing. It doesn't count, I'll start again Monday. If any of that sounds familiar, you've got a whole fucking courtroom in your head arguing for and against a snack.

Speaker 2: 11:07

The bottom line is, if you have to debate it, if you're actually thinking about it, it's probably not physical hunger, it's emotional. And the trick here is just becoming aware the moment when you pause and go. Wait. Am I actually hungry or am I just tired, sad, whatever you feel in the emotion, that one pause can be the difference between progress and the same old sabotage. I know from me starting to eat mindfully when I was thinking am I really hungry, do I really want this Saved me I don't know, hundreds of thousands of calories that I would have eaten, that I didn't eat because I just stopped and said, hey, am I really hungry? So yeah, you might be lying to yourself a little bit, but guess what you can stop. You can get honest, start recognizing the patterns and take your power back.

Speaker 2: 11:51

Food doesn't have to control you. You just have to be brave enough to see what you're really doing and then do something different. That's how you stop emotionally. Like I said, as soon as I started to become mindful about it and really think is this something that I really want to eat or am I really hungry right now? My whole world changed. So here's some things that you should do instead. Here's some things that I did. So I don't know. You don't have to eat. You have options. And no, I don't mean switching to healthy junk food like baked chips or sugar-free cookies. They're dog shit. Just because something is low calorie diet, that doesn't mean it's good for you. In fact, it's probably worse for you. I'm talking about actually breaking the cycle.

Speaker 2: 12:38

So the first thing you do to break that emotional eating cycle and this is gonna be a shocker is number one is feel the fucking feelings. Right, yeah, I said it. Hey, there's a radical concept, I know, but here's the deal. The emotion you're trying to escape isn't going to go anywhere just because you drowned it in ranch dressing. So sit with it, get uncomfortable and feel it on purpose. If you're sad, just cry. If you're, punch a pillow, or you know someone that you like to punch. If you're stressed out, scream, I mean, you know, whatever, whatever it is you have to do. If you want to punch your steering wheel, just do it. Feel, feeling it, and it'll pass, because all emotions do. They just want to be acknowledged and certainly not numbed out with food.

Speaker 2: 13:24

The second thing again, which I just talked about, is to create a pause. Right, here's your new rule Take a five-minute pause If you're feeling the urge to eat. Wait five minutes, just five. In that time you ask yourself hey, am I physically, am I really hungry? What emotion am I actually feeling, and will food fix that? And if the answer is I don't know, then it's probably emotional eating. And that pause for me, and I promise you, for you will be a game changer. Sometimes all you need is a little space between impulse and action to make a better choice.

Speaker 2: 14:00

The next one is to actually name the emotion. You can't fight what you won't name, and if you've been emotional eating for years, the truth is you probably suck at identifying feelings. And no offense there, but also, yes, offense. Take a second and ask yourself what am I really feeling right now? Is it stress, is it shame, is it loneliness? Who knows? It doesn't matter what it is, but actually think about it and name it. That was a huge game changer for me. Like I would always identify hey, you know what I'm bored or I'm stressed, and then I was able to not eat. So naming the emotion gives you back your power. It pulls you out of that autopilot mode that you're in and it drags you right into awareness and once you're aware, you're in control again.

Speaker 2: 14:44

I also say you should try to build a go-to coping toolbox, and for me, food was always my go-to, but I realized that it was time to expand that menu. So here's just a couple of things and I've talked about these before but here's just some alternatives to emotional eating that don't involve actually sabotaging your progress. Don't involve actually sabotaging your progress. First is go for a walk, or call and text somebody Journal. If you're into that thing, journal what you're feeling, Turn on some music, clean something, drink water there's just so many things. If you want to dance, dance it out in your kitchen like a nut job, but not every tool is going to work every time. A building list gives you some options and when you're triggered, you don't need to make the perfect choice, you just need to make a better choice.

Speaker 2: 15:34

And really that five-minute rule and that having a toolbox that you do think I distracted myself when I felt like I wanted to eat and I really didn't feel like I wanted to eat, I was emotionally eating. I would go out for a walk, even if I literally just walked a hundred steps. It just kicked a little thing in my head, it triggered something in my mind and I stopped eating. I didn't want, I lost the feeling. So now, if you do all those things and you still want to eat, that's fine, that's okay, but just make sure you do it mindfully.

Speaker 2: 16:00

You know again, my whole thing is about mindful eating. Sometimes you just really want that fucking piece of chocolate or that donut and I totally get that. I'm not telling you to live like a mug. But if you're going to do it, do it consciously. Think about it, one of the ways that I actually help myself. This is a silly. It sounds crazy, but I promise you if you try it, you'll be shocked.

Speaker 2: 16:23

Don't eat anything without a plate, so whatever it is you're going to eat if it's a donut, I don't care. If it's a piece of chocolate, put it on a plate and don't eat it out of the bag. If you want to eat potato chips, put them in a bowl. Then sit down and eat it slowly and actually taste it. Don't be on your phone, don't have any other distractions, just you and the food. And mindful eating turns that little guilt fest into an actual choice. It's a small, smart choice. You're allowed to feed your soul, it's okay as long as you think about it. But when it's a choice, you're not powerless, You're in charge, and that's the whole point.

Speaker 2: 16:58

So yeah, I'm not here to tell you that you're going to break that emotional eating cycle overnight. You're not. You're going to break a habit that's probably older than you who knows? It's been going on for years. For me, it's been going on my whole life, but the bottom line is it can be broken. One pause and one honest question or one better choice at a time. And again, it's always about small, smart choices.

Speaker 2: 17:23

So how do you break that cycle? Well, here's the truth. That hurts. You don't need more information, you need more consistency. Right, that's it. Because doing the same shit over and over again, expecting different results, that's called insanity. And we all know that. If you're doing the same thing over and over again and think that you're going to lose weight, you're wrong.

Speaker 2: 17:45

Emotional eating isn't some weird mystery that you haven't cracked yet. It's a habit loop. It's something that you've built into your head. It's deeply ingrained and automatic cycle. You have an emotion, then you get the trigger, then you eat, then you regret it and then you repeat. That's the loop, and if you want to break it, you have to disrupt it over and over again until that new behavior becomes automatic. And again, let's be clear on this thing it's not about being perfect. You're gonna fuck up. You will eat your feelings again. You're human. Life gets messy, shit happens. But breaking the cycle means recognizing it when it's happening and interrupting it sooner. So you fall down. Okay, no big deal. Get back up, get back faster, get back stronger and, of course, get back smarter.

Speaker 2: 18:39

So, if you want to, I guess the number one way to break it is awareness is everything right? If you don't notice the pattern, you can't change it. So your first job is to notice. Start tracking those emotional eating moments. Not the calories. Don't track your calories, because that's bullshit, but track your patterns. Like, hey, what happened before I had this craving, what was I feeling? What did you eat? How do you feel? It's not about guilt, it's about data. Right, every moment you track is a clue because, again, we're trying to build a better life through small, smart choices, those little tiny choices that build up over time and eventually the pattern is going to scream at you. So, oh shit, I eat every time I get an email from my boss. Boom, that's awareness, right? Or, oh my God, I just heard from my ex-wife or my ex-husband, and I'm in the kitchen eating. That's the stuff that you have to notice and you have to be aware of, because that's your power move right.

Speaker 2: 19:31

The second thing is you have to build better reactions. You have to do them on repeat. So remember the things that we talked about taking five minutes. You need to use them repeatedly, even when you don't want to, especially when you don't want to, because consistency isn't sexy, but it's actually what rewires your brain. Every time you pause instead of eat, or take a walk instead of diving into a bag of chips, you're telling your brain hey, we do things differently now. Do that enough times and that becomes your new normal.

Speaker 2: 19:59

And the next thing is shorten your recovery time. Look, I said it already, you're going to fuck up. You're going to still eat, emotionally sometimes. Period it just, it's going to happen. The goal isn't to never do it again. The goal is actually just to recover faster.

Speaker 2: 20:11

So it used to maybe take you a week to bounce back. Now make it a day, make it an hour, make it 10 minutes, whatever it is. That's the progress, that's the power, that's how the cycle breaks, not by never falling, but by learning how to bounce back. And of course I talk about this all the time. Get rid of that all or nothing bullshit mentality that everybody in the internet says you don't have to be perfect For me. I'd eat one donut. I'd feel guilty and say fuck it, and then eat six more. I am the most guilty of that. Hey, if I had one, I might as well. You know what I'll start again tomorrow that is not going to ruin your day. Giving up is what ruins your day and ruins your week. Ruins your progress.

Speaker 2: 20:54

So breaking the cycle means learning to have a misstep without making it a meltdown. Right, you messed up big fucking deal. Own it, learn it and move on. Get to the next thing. And what's going to help you do that is celebrating the little wins, and I talked about this in a whole episode of the podcast. But if you pause for two minutes before you ate, that that's a win. Celebrate it, man. And I'm not talking about having a fucking party with birthday cake, because that would be, I don't know, a double negative. But if you choose to call a friend instead of a snack, that's a win.

Speaker 2: 21:22

If you only eat, this is going to sound crazy, because no diet person in the world is going to tell you. But if you only eat one cookie instead of 12, that's a win. Progress doesn't look like perfection. It looks like better decisions, better small, smart choices stacked on top of each other, day after day. So be sure to track your wins, celebrate them, even brag a little bit hey, I didn't eat the chips. Yell it out if that's what I have to, but you're building this new habit and that deserves hype, even if you're not going to tell your best friend, all those people, but it to just reinforce with yourself that, hey, I just had a win. I only ate one cookie instead of 12. I only ate one donut. Those are the small, smart choices that I'm talking about that lead to huge results.

Speaker 2: 22:08

So breaking the emotional eating cycle is about building resilience, not restriction. It's about choosing your future self instead of your current craving and doing it again and again. So when the emotions hit because we all know they will, there's no way around that and the cravings start to creep in because again they will remember that you don't need to eat your feelings. You need to feel them, you need to face them and then move the fuck on. I mean, feel it, face them and then move the fuck on. I mean, feel it, face it and move on. All right, if you've made it this far into the episode, congratulations.

Speaker 2: 22:46

You probably recognize now that emotional eating isn't some mysterious force of the universe that all happens to the weak. No, it's something almost everyone does. Why? Because life is hard, man, emotions are messy and food is easy. But here's the thing Easy doesn't get you to your goals. Comfortable doesn't get you confidence, and eating your feelings actually doesn't fix them. It just puts them on layaway.

Speaker 2: 23:09

So, if we recap, look, emotional eating is when you eat to escape, to soothe yourself, to numb yourself, to reward yourself, not because your body actually needs fuel and it's sneaky. It wears a bunch of disguise, like hey, I've been good today, disguises that you put on or I deserve this, or I'm just bored. You can break the cycle, but it won't be overnight and it won't be perfect, but with awareness, intention, practice and small, smart choices, you will break the cycle. I'm living proof. You don't need another diet, you don't need to be stronger. You just need to shut up and choose consistently. Choose to pause, choose to feel, choose to build new habits, choose better. One small choice at a time.

Speaker 2: 23:53

And again, I told you this 15 times, but I'm going to tell you again you're not going to be perfect. You're going to eat your feelings sometimes, and that doesn't make you a failure, it makes you a fucking human being. What you do next, that's what actually matters. So let me give you a little call to action. I usually don't do this, but let me give you a call to action so you don't just listen to this episode, and not a lot like. I usually don't do this, but let me give you a call to action so you don't just listen to this episode and not a lot of like, wow, yeah, hey, that's true, and then go eat some stressed out snack five minutes later. So, number one track your emotional eating moment. Not just the calories, just the emotion. What happened before, what you feel, what you eat and what could you have done instead.

Speaker 2: 24:30

Try one of my non-coping tools from the cheat sheet that I gave you just once. Pick the one that doesn't feel too awkward and give it a shot. The pausing five minutes, that's easy. Text a friend, journal, gossip, whatever it is. Just go ahead and do it and then actually write down one small win, not a huge win, not that you lost five pounds. A win like hey, I only ate one cookie, or I did need that donut, or I paused five minutes, something that you did that interrupted the usual pattern, even if it was, just like I said, pausing. Just one small, smart choice. Then own it. And hey, if you're feeling really brave, post it online.

Speaker 2: 25:09

I posted my whole well not my whole journey, but I posted a lot of my journey online, so post it, share you win. Dm me if you want, tag me on Instagram, tweet it, tell me why. Because the more you say this is who I'm becoming, the more likely you are to keep becoming that. So you're not stuck, you're not broken. You're just learning a new way to deal with life, and that's impressive. It's not easy, but it is impressive.

Speaker 2: 25:35

This is not about being perfect. This is about being present, being mindful, eating mindfully and being persistent and finally choosing yourself over your coping mechanisms. So what's it going to be today? Snack your stress or shut up and choose a better way. I think you already know that answer. So that's it for today on emotional eating. I hope this helps you. It helped me to really understand why I was eating and why I was eating at the times I was eating, especially when I wasn't hungry. Hopefully you use some of this stuff. One day I'm actually going to do like a group of worksheets that you can download for free. In fact, maybe I'll start that next week. I don't know, I'll have to figure it out.

Speaker 2: 26:13

If you want to read my book about my 140-pound weight loss journey, it's on Amazon. It's called Shut Up and Choose, same as this podcast. It takes you through the ups and downs. It takes you through all the mindset shifts that I had. We're an Amazon bestseller. I get emails every day people telling me how it changed their life just by changing their mindset. And again, this is a mental game. If you want, if you're not a reader and you're more of a watcher, I have a 23 video course called the Effortless Weight Loss Academy. It is, like I said, a 23 video course. I think it's 23. It might be more, I don't know. But the bottom line is you can watch the whole thing in two hours or less and it really takes you through all the mental shifts that you have to make.

Speaker 2: 26:55

I don't give you a meal plan. I don't give you an exercise plan. That's all bullshit. All you have to do is fix your head, fix your mind. It's really not that complicated. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say it's simple, and a lot of people say it's not easy. Once you get the hang of it, once you start interrupting your patterns, once you start thinking, making those small, smart choices, it's fucking easy. So now you know all about emotional eating. I've given you some hints, I've given you some tricks, I've given you some coping mechanisms. Now, really, the only thing left to do is to shut up and choose you've been listening to shut up and choose.

Speaker 1: 27:33

Jonathan's passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks no diets, no pills. And we'll let you in on a little secret no fucking gym. And guess what? You can do it too. We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did, make sure to like, rate and review. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find jonathan on instagram at jonathan wrestler boca raton. Until next time, shut up and choose.