announcer: 0:02

If you're a whiny snowflake that can't handle the truth, is offended by the word fuck and about 37 uses of it in different forms gets ass hurt. When you hear someone speak the absolute, real and raw truth, you should leave Like right now. This is Shut Up and Choose, the podcast where we cut through the shit and get real about weight loss, life and everything in between. We get into the nitty gritty of making small, smart choices that add up to big results. From what's on your plate to how you approach life's challenges. We'll explore how the simple act of choosing differently can transform your health, your mindset and your entire freaking life. So if you're ready to cut through the bullshit and start making some real changes, then buckle up and shut up, because we're about to choose our way to a healthier, happier life. This is Shut Up and Choose. Let's do this Now your host, jonathan Ressler.

Jonathan: 1:13

Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose the podcast special for the law and the law. It's not bullshit to be in today and all those Instagram groups, All that bullshit that they keep telling you eat this, don't eat that. You know the story. I've told you a hundred times. So today I want to talk about something that I've heard a lot of people say and it always confuses me, although I've said it a thousand times myself, but when you really break it down and think about it, it's like Well, here let me tell you.

Jonathan: 1:40

You ever catch yourself saying, ugh, I just feel fat. Today, we've all said it right, and my answer to that is hey, cool story. But let me stop you right there. Fat isn't a feeling. It's not sadness, it's not stress, it's not your pants being tied to the fact you don't like how you look in the mirror at Target. That has lighting from fucking hell.

Jonathan: 2:03

Fat is not an emotion. It's a physical condition that stems from a series of choices small, repeated, often unconscious decisions that stack up over time. You didn't just wake up and feel fat. You woke up feeling the consequences of the decisions you've been making over and over again Now, before you grab your protein shake and panic. This is not an episode about shame. I'm not here to make you feel bad about yourself. I'm here to tell you the truth, because the truth, that's the only thing that actually moves the needle.

Jonathan: 2:35

We've all been taught to talk about our bodies like we talk about the weather. I feel gross, I feel off, I feel fat. But that kind of emotional language is a trap. It lets you off the hook. It turns something you control into something that just happens to you, and the longer you keep outsourcing responsibility to vague emotions, the longer you stay stuck right where you are. Look, I've been there. I've lived at over 400 pounds of denial delay and my diet starts Monday bullshit. And the second I stopped feeling fat and started owning my decisions. That's when everything changed.

Jonathan: 3:12

So today's episode is about breaking that pattern. We're going to rip the emotional band-aid off the I feel fat story and take a real look at what's behind it. We're going to talk about the difference between cause and effect, why owning your choices doesn't mean beating yourself up, and how the words you use actually shape your identity and your results. Because here's the hard truth If you chose your way into the weight you're carrying, you can choose your way out of it too. That's not judgment, that's power. You're not a victim of your metabolism or your cravings or your bad day, and you are not broken. I've said that a hundred times. You're just in a loop that you haven't learned how to get out of yet. So by the end of this episode, you're gonna have the awareness and the tools to start leaving that loop and leaving it behind and for good. So if you're ready to stop feeling fat and start getting real about your choices, let's get into this thing. And, by the way before we start this. One might sting a little bit, but that's how growth feels before it pays off.

Jonathan: 4:15

So the first thing is this language trap that we're all in. So let's talk about the real villain in your weight loss story. It's not carbs, you know. I've said that a thousand times. Filling in your weight loss story. It's not carbs. You know, I've said that a thousand times. It's not a lack of motivation. It's not even the free bread basket. You swear you weren't going to touch and then inhaled the whole basket like it did something bad to your family.

Jonathan: 4:35

It's your language, specifically the way you talk to yourself about your body, your choices and your so-called failures. Let me give you some of the greatest hit shit that I've said. I feel fat. I admit it. I've said it. Oh, I'm bloated. I might as well eat more. I've said that that makes no sense, but I've said it. I'll start when I feel more in control. I said that 10,000 times. I was bad this weekend and I have to be good now. You know how many times I said that.

Jonathan: 5:06

I'm sure you've said it a thousand times too, but if any of that sounds familiar, it's because we've all said it and we've all internalized this weird shame-ridden diet cultural language that makes it feel like your body is an emotional liability and your food choices are a moral scorecard. But here's the thing right. These phrases don't just sound harmless, they're dangerous. Why, you ask? Because they let you off the hook emotionally while keeping you stuck physically. So let me explain what I mean by that.

Jonathan: 5:34

When you say I feel fat, what you're actually doing is disconnecting from the behavior that got you there. You're labeling the effect, but still you're ignoring the cause. You're masking real feelings. Maybe you feel out of control or uncomfortable or disappointed in yourself or even ashamed, but instead of naming those emotions, you default to a vague, self-punishing catchphrase. And when you do that, you strip yourself of the power to respond.

Jonathan: 6:01

You can't fix feeling fat. It's not actionable. You can't solve it. You can only wallow in it, which leads to guess what? More of the same choices that got you there in the first place. It's the same thing with I feel bloated, so I might as well eat more.

Jonathan: 6:16

The translation there is I already fucked up, so fuck it, let's just make it worse. And that sound logical to you? No, of course not, but it is the language of self-sabotage and it gives you permission to keep spiraling because, hey, if the damage is already done, why not finish the job right? And that's not logic, that's avoidance and that's the trap. And then there's the classic. I'll start when I feel more in control. God, I don't know how many times I've said that, but let me break some hearts here. Control is not coming to save you. Control doesn't show up like Amazon Prime the day after you break down. You create it through action. You get momentum by doing, not waiting for the perfect vibe, the perfect Monday or the perfect macro breakdown. Here's the truth.

Jonathan: 7:06

The way you talk about your struggle shapes the way you live it. Language isn't just descriptive, it's formative. It creates your identity. When you say I'll always fall off, or I can't stick to anything, or I have no willpower, your brain listens, your habits listens, your identity listens, and you're reinforcing the exact story that you're trying to outgrow. That's why we need to stop calling these statements just words. They're not harmless, they're programming, and right now your programming is outdated as a motherfucker. The words you use create the lens through which you view your body, your potential and your capacity for change.

Jonathan: 7:43

If you want to change your body, you have to start by changing your narrative. So how do you break that language trap? Well, for me it was very easy and it was very specific. You get real and you stop assigning emotions to body fat. Instead of saying I feel fat, say I feel uncomfortable because I've been avoiding the habits that I know make me feel better. That's honest, that's actionable, that gives you something to do, not just something to stew in. So, instead of saying I'll start when I feel more comfortable trying, I'm going to do one thing today to create momentum, even if it's messy, even if it's not perfect. That's forward motion and that is powerful. So here's your challenge Start catching yourself right, start listening to how you talk about your health, your habits and your body and then ask yourself is this helping me become the person I want to be or is it keeping me locked into the version I'm trying to outgrow? Because every time you speak, you're casting a vote for the identity that you want to reinforce. You can speak like someone on a diet, weighting, restrictive, judging, acquitting, or you can speak like someone who lives differently now, someone who makes aligned choices, someone who bounces back even when they fuck up, someone who doesn't feel fat because they know that fat isn't a feeling. It's just the result and results. You can change results, but only if you tell the truth out loud and every fucking day.

Jonathan: 9:13

The second thing is fat is not the cause, it's the result. So let's stop blaming the mirror and start looking into it. And believe me, looking in the mirror and seeing that picture of myself at 411 pounds was something that sent me in a totally different direction. So this is something people don't want to hear. I know I never wanted to hear it. I avoided it. But the reality is you didn't catch fat like a virus. You didn't wake up one day and accidentally gain 60 pounds in your sleep. You earned it right, I earned 411 pounds. I earned it through repetition, through neglect, through a series of consistent and, most times, unconscious, self-defeating choices. And I get it, man. That sounds harsh, but harsh doesn't mean that it's not true. And this is the real kicker. If you earn your way into it, that means you can earn your way out of it. I'm living proof. You just need to stop confusing the effect with the cause. So saying I feel fat is like saying I feel bankrupt. Cool, that's the end result. What caused it? So let's break it down right.

Jonathan: 10:18

First thing is skipping sleep. If you think your willpower is a problem, I say no. Sleep is when you're exhausted. Your brain doesn't want a salad, it wants sugar and salt and carbs dipped in chocolate. I mean your hunger hormones go haywire, your stress response goes up and your ability to make good choices drops fast. Lack of sleep doesn't just make you tired, it makes you irrational. And irrational. People don't meal prep, they door dash and justify it right afterwards.

Jonathan: 10:50

Another one is if you're ignoring your stress and I'm not saying to live your stress-free life, it's not possible but you're not weak for eating. Emotionally, you're just human. But if you keep pretending stress doesn't affect your choices, you're going to stay stuck in that same cycle forever. You're stressed about work, about life, about bills, about relationships, and instead of managing, you numb it with food. That's not failure, that's coping. But it's also the cause of the very thing you keep blaming on your bad metabolism Stress. Eating isn't the problem. Not having another way to deal with stress, that's the problem.

Jonathan: 11:26

The next one is and I'm so guilty of this is overeating as a coping mechanism. And let's be honest, food is the easiest therapist most people have. It's cheap, it's always available and it surely doesn't ask any questions, but every time you say I deserve this after a hard day, you reinforce the habit of using food to solve feelings, and that habit adds up. Habit of using food to solve feelings, and that habit adds up. Fat is the side effect of using food to manage emotions. That should be managed with boundaries, with rest, with breathing or for being real, just walking away from toxic people. That's it.

Jonathan: 12:02

I'm not a meal prepper I've said this a hundred times but not preparing food. Let me say it in a way that hurts. If you don't plan your food, the food industry will plan it for you. You think you're too busy to prep. Great McDonald's isn't Uber Eats, isn't that vending machine in your office. That certainly isn't. They're all ready because they know most people fly through life unprepared and hungry. And hunger added to no plan equals the most expensive high calorie mistake you'll make five days a week. So don't tell me you don't have the time. You're just spending it elsewhere, and the fat you're carrying is proof. And again, when I talk about meal prepping, I didn't like prep out meals, but I thought about them in my head. I knew that I was going to eat overnight oats every morning. To me, that's meal prepping. It's not making a bunch of Tupperware and putting it in Fuck that noise. It's just thinking about what you eat.

Jonathan: 12:55

The next thing is making convenient choices on repeat. Convenient feels easy in the moment, until you realize that those easier decisions are slowly building life and the body. You say that you don't want. You skip cooking because you're tired. You say yes to dessert because you don't want to have to miss out. You don't drink water because, honestly, soda tastes better. You don't move because the couch is calling. None of those choices are evil, but stacked together day after day, that's the cause. That's the origin story of I feel fat.

Jonathan: 13:28

Now let me be clear here. I'm not saying you need to overhaul your entire life overnight. In fact, I'm telling you don't. I'm saying you need to own the actual root causes instead of blaming the result. Because here's the good news If the cause was small, repeated, unconscious choices, then the solution is small, repeated conscious choices. That's the foundation of everything I teach Small, smart choices over and over every freaking day.

Jonathan: 13:56

You don't have to be perfect. You don't need a meal plan from a celebrity trainer who's never been fat, from an Instagram jerk-off who's ripped. You just need to stop lying to yourself about what's really happening and start making the next better choice the next walk instead of the next nap, the next water instead of the next soda, the next grocery trip instead of the next takeout binge. You don't need to change everything, you just need to change direction. That's it, because fat isn't the enemy, it's the evidence, it's the receipts of what you've bought, and if you're willing to trace those receipts back to the real habits and choices behind them, guess what? You can reverse, engineer a totally different result. You don't need discipline, you need honesty. You don't need perfection, you just need a plan that doesn't suck, and you don't need to keep saying I feel fat because now you know better. So let's clear this up once and for all.

Jonathan: 14:57

Owning your choices is not the same as hating yourself. If you're still here, it means one thing you're done playing dumb with yourself, and I say that with love, because I played dumb for a long time. I blamed stress, genetics, life, my schedule, my ex, the rain, the weekend, my groceries I mean everything. I blame a grocery store for carrying snacks that I allegedly couldn't resist, but when it finally clicked that I was the one choosing all of it, something wild happened. I stopped feeling ashamed and I started feeling powerful. See, most people hear the phrase. You choose to gain weight and immediately go into emotional meltdown mode. Are you saying this is my fault? Well, actually I am, but that feels mean Only if you believe that being responsible for something means being a failure.

Jonathan: 15:42

And it doesn't. It means you're a grown adult with agency. It means you weren't helpless. You were just unaware or distracted or stuck in autopilot, and now you're awake. That's power. That's the part where people get it twisted.

Jonathan: 15:58

They confuse accountability with shame, but they're a complete opposite. So let me break that down for you. Shame says you're disgusting, you always fuck up, you'll never change, and accountability says, yeah, I did this, but you also have the ability to undo it. Shame makes you shrink and accountability makes you stand taller. Shame whispers that you've already failed, so you might as well quit. Accountability says, hey, you slipped, what's the next right move? Shame makes you believe you are the problem. Accountability reminds you that choices were the problem and choices can be changed.

Jonathan: 16:35

This is where we talk a little bit about the bounce back muscle. You've got muscles that you never use, like your bounce back muscle. Yeah, I get it. It's not a real muscle. But it might as well be because the people who succeed in long-term weight loss. They don't have more willpower, they don't have personal chefs or perfect lives, they just have stronger bounce back skills. They mess up and they move on. They don't spiral, they don't wait until Monday and they don't call it a failure. They call it Tuesday and they bounce back. So let me ask you how strong is your bounce back muscle? Do you make one bad decision and let it ruin the day, the week or even the whole month? I know I have or do you pause, own it and pivot? Most people don't need a new diet. They need a new definition of success.

Jonathan: 17:20

Not perfection, resilience, not guilt, but ownership. Because here's the dirty little secret you can't hate your way into a lasting change and you can't bully yourself into better decisions. Shame might light a fire for a minute, but it burns out fast and it burns you with it. Accountability, on the other hand, that sticks, that sustains, that builds the internal strength to say I'm not proud of that choice, but I'm certainly not quitting over it. Drop the drama and pick up your power.

Jonathan: 17:54

Let's get something straight. You're not broken. I've told you that a hundred times. You're just repeating choices that no longer align with the person that you want to become. That's not a cause for shame, that's a wake-up call. So, instead of wallowing, you get to respond. That's what grown capable people do, that's what leaders do, and if you're listening to this podcast, it's because you are one, even if your choices haven't matched that identity yet.

Jonathan: 18:19

So, from this point forward, I want you to make one commitment to yourself Own it without wrecking yourself over it. You ate pizza? Fine, you skipped the gym. I do every day. Big fucking deal. You binged out because of stress, whatever. No big deal Now.

Jonathan: 18:36

Bounce back. No guilt trip, no dramatic pause, just the next move, because progress isn't about stringing together perfect days. It's about getting on track faster every time you fall off. So build the bounce back muscle like you build any other one. Use it, stretch it, challenge it and stop letting shame. Keep you on the floor when you can be back on your feet in five minutes.

Jonathan: 18:59

When you make accountability your habit, not punishment, you win every single time, because the game of weight loss isn't one with the willpower or white knuckling. It's one with the bounce backs, with brutal honesty and with quiet, consistent decisions to take the next best step, even after the worst one, and that, my friends, is how you go from feeling powerless to actually powerful as hell. So let's turn that awareness into action now, because knowing you're in a rut is only half the job. Climbing out is the rest. So far, we've stripped the bullshit away from the language that you use, we've broken down cause versus effect and we've dismantled the lie that accountability equals shame. So now it's time to give you something you can actually do with all this, because here's the truth Most people don't need more information.

Jonathan: 19:49

They need intervention from themselves. They need one sentence, one habit, one tool that cuts through the drama and gives them something to grip when they're sliding face first into another fucking spiral. That's what I'm going to talk about Getting unstuck right now. And what you've got. Here's your first mindset shift. Instead of I feel fat tri, I feel uncomfortable in my body today because I've been off track. What's one small move I can make to change that? Let me repeat it what's one small move I can make to change it? That's it, one move, because you don't need to fix everything. You just need to stop pretending you're helpless. You're not stuck because of your body. You're stuck because of your thinking and the story you tell yourself when things go off the rails. We've talked about it, but the story usually sounds like oh, I blew it again or I'll never figure this out. I might as well wait until Monday, if that sounds familiar, that story, that has a script, and that script can be rewritten.

Jonathan: 20:49

So the first tool I want to give you is what I call the reset question, and it's really simple, but also it's powerful. All right, you ready, here it is. What would the next best version of me do in this moment? Not tomorrow, not next week, not when I'm in a better headspace now. Would that version of you take a 10-minute walk? Would it drink a full glass of water before deciding to order some takeout? Would it put the phone down and go to bed early instead of doom scrolling and snacking? The next best version doesn't have to be perfect. They just have to be better. And the more often you ask that question, the faster your brain rewires around better choices. So say it again what would the next best version of me do right now? That one question is your rescue rope. It's what pulls you out of the swamp of excuses and back into forward motion.

Jonathan: 21:45

The second thing is speak it, write it or own it. Don't just think, say it, write it every damn day. Why? Because your brain believes what it hears, especially when it hears it from you. So here's how to use this Every morning, ask yourself that reset question and write the answer down.

Jonathan: 22:01

I know it sounds corny as hell, but I'm telling you, writing it down makes a difference. At night, think about what choice did I make today that the next best me would be proud of. You don't have to write that one down, just think about it and if you blow it midday, say out loud hey, that wasn't my best move, but the next one's going to be better. No shame, no wowing, just pattern interruption. You are literally rewiring your identity through repetition. You're replacing the old loop of I always mess this up with. I'm someone who bounces back.

Jonathan: 22:33

The next thing is repetition builds reputation. Here's the part that nobody really talks about your habits. Don't just build a result. They build your reputation with yourself. Right now, if you say I'm starting fresh, do you believe it or do you roll your eyes at your own words? Because you've made 300 fake promises to yourself in the past and your brain remembers. Fake promises to yourself in the past and your brain remembers God. I've made tens of thousands of fake promises to myself, so you have to show up long enough to build that trust again.

Jonathan: 23:03

The reset question that's how you start. It's how you chip away at that old you and start reinforcing the new you. Not with a 30-day plan, not with a fucking detox, not with perfection with one choice. They plan, not with a fucking detox, not with perfection with one choice. Repeat it until it becomes your identity. So look, getting stuck isn't failure. Honestly, it's normal Staying stuck. Well, that's optional. And now you're out of excuses. You've got the truth, you've got the tools, you've got the bounce back muscle and you've got a fucking good reason to keep going because of the version of you you've been trying to become. They're not that far away. They're just on the other side of one small smart choice. So ask the question, make the move and remember you don't need to fix your whole life tonight. You just need to stop lying to yourself about what's really going on and do the next right thing. That's how change really happens. So if I'm wrapping it all up, I would say diets give you rules, but sustainability gives you skills.

Jonathan: 24:08

Let's land the plane here. You didn't come here for another motivational speech. You came here because you're tired of repeating the same cycle Feel like shit, try a diet, fall off, blame yourself and repeat. So let's be clear. You don't have a weight problem. You have a language problem, a habits problem, a bounce back problem. And the good news, all of that is fixable. So just to recap fat isn't a feeling. Stop using vague, emotional language to avoid facing your reality. I feel fat is a dead end. I feel uncomfortable because I've been off track is honest, and honesty is where real change starts.

Jonathan: 24:48

Second thing is fat is the result, not the cause. You're not being punished. You're just living the consequences of a pattern. So skipping sleep, stress, eating, never prepping food, never thinking about food, choosing easy over line those are all causes. You own them and you need to own them and you can start changing them. Number three is accountability. Isn't shame. Blame keeps you stuck, shame keeps you small, but accountability that gives you power, the power to pivot, the power to bounce back and the power to finally stop playing the victim in your own story.

Jonathan: 25:24

Fourth thing and there's only one more. But the fourth thing is the bounce back. Muscle is your superpower. You don't need to be perfect. You need to stop quitting every time you mess up. The people who lose weight and keep it off. They bounce back faster. That's it. You got the tools.

Jonathan: 25:42

So start with the reset question. What would the next best version of me do in this moment? Say it, write it, practice it, Build trust with yourself. One small, smart choice at a time. Look, here's the thing to remember. If you can't see yourself doing it a year from now, it's not the answer. It's a trap. Another shiny, rule-heavy, soul-sucking plan that works for six days and fails for the next six months. But if you can shift your identity, change your internal script and build your bounce back muscle, you're not dying anymore. You're just living differently. That's the work, that's the magic. That's how I lost over 140 pounds and why I never had to start over again.

Jonathan: 26:28

So if this episode lit a fire in you, share it with someone who's stuck in the I feel fat loop. You can also send me a message on Instagram. Say I'm done feeling fat. Whatever, I'll send you my bounce back checklist for free. How's that? You don't need perfect, you don't need honest. You just need to be consistent as fuck and you need to learn to shut up and choose. So that's my feeling on this whole I feel fat nonsense. You don't feel fat. You can't feel fat. I guess maybe when you're buttoning your pants and I guess you could feel fat there, but the reality is you can't feel fat. It's not a feeling, it's not an emotion. So learn to speak to yourself in better terms.

Jonathan: 27:08

If you want to find out and read about how I learned to talk to myself better and really make the mindset shift that helped me lose 140 pounds and keep it off for over two years, get my book on Amazon. It's called same as this podcast, shut Up and Choose. It's an Amazon bestseller. It's out there. I'm sure you know how to use Amazon if you're listening to podcasts.

Jonathan: 27:28

I also have a video course called the Effortless Weight Loss Academy. It's 23 short videos about five to seven minutes each. Great, if you're a visual learner, you can watch the whole thing in two hours and I promise it will change your life. I don't even know how to describe it other than say it's a life-changing video course. You will never have to be on a diet again. You can get that at learnshutupandchoosecom. That's learnshutupandchoosecom. So that's really it for today. Stop talking to yourself in a negative way. Stop giving yourself excuses by talking to yourself in that negative way and make the decision to change, because, at the end of the day, the reality is all you need to do to lose as much weight as you want and keep it off for the rest of your life is to shut up and choose.

announcer: 28:19

You've been listening to Shut Up and Choose. Jonathan's passion is to share his journey of shedding 130 pounds in less than a year without any of the usual gimmicks no diets, no pills. And we'll let you in on a little secret no fucking gym. And guess what? You can do it too. We hope you enjoyed the show. We had a fucking blast. If you did, make sure to like, rate and review. We'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find Jonathan on Instagram at JonathanWrestlerBocaRaton. Until next time, shut up and choose.